How do you deal with a family who...

[Sarah]

Peace

...who financially abuses you?

Is it a form of oppression Quranically speaking? Do I have to fight against them even if it means taking them to court? Or leaving them as soon as I can? Please don't judge as my situation is very complex and do not take the 'if you're homeless just buy a home' approach because it's not as simple as that.

[Ronin]

Peace

How does your family abuse you? Could you please explain further?

I think parents are responsible for providing their children with necessities such as food, clothing and shelter until a certain age. In my view, when a person attains the age of adulthood, he or she can no longer expect his or her parents to provide for him or her with necessities such as food, clothing and shelter. So if a family threathens to deprive their adult son or adult daughter with the aforesaid necessities, then the adult son or adult daughter probably has to accept the decision of his or her family. I think taking them to court would be wrong.

Some people decide to live with their family when they have reached the age of adulthood in order to help their family (particularly if their parents are old). I think this is an honorable act. However, someone doesn't need to live with his or her parents in order to help them or with the aim of being a good son or a good daughter. There are many ways to help ones parents, and some ways are off course better than others. Ultimately, an adult man or adult woman is supposed to become independent, and no longer depend his or her parents for help. Not only is he or she not supposed to depend on his or her parents one day, but he or she is also supposed to become a good source of help and strength for them. If living with ones parents holds one back from growing and accomplishing what one wants to accomplish in order to become the person one wants to become, then one can't help ones parents in an optimal way. It is difficult or maybe even impossible to help ones parents in an optimal way if oneself depends on ones parents for help.

[Ronin]

Let me share some verses from the quran here. I think these verses are relevant to the topic of this thread.

17:23 And your Lord decreed that you shall not serve except He, and do good to your parents. When one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them, but say to them a kind saying.

29:8 And We instructed man to be good to his parents. But if they strive to make you set up partners with Me, then do not obey them. To Me are all your destinies, and I will inform you of what you used to do.

31:14 And We enjoined man regarding his parents. His mother bore him with hardship upon hardship, and his weaning takes two years. You shall give thanks to Me, and to your parents. To Me is the final destiny.

2:215 They will ask thee as to what they should spend on others. Say: "Whatever of your wealth you spend shall [first] be for your parents, and for the near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer; and whatever good you do, verily, God has full knowledge thereof."

[Ronin]

Peace

How does your family abuse you? Could you please explain further?

I noticed that there was a major flaw/blunder in a sentence in my first post in this thread. I forgot to write the word (financially) in my sentence, which actually changed the meaning of the whole sentence. Let me fix the sentence.

How does your family "financially" abuse you?

[Sarah]

Peace

I noticed that there was a major flaw/blunder in a sentence in my first post in this thread. I forgot to write the word (financially) in my sentence, which actually changed the meaning of the whole sentence. Let me fix the sentence.

How does your family "financially" abuse you?

Peace

They make me pay all of the rent which is over £1000 and do not contribute, not even one penny even though they are supposed to. I suspect they're narcissists or even sociopaths.

I tried to become something but despite trying, I haven't gotten anywhere so far. I work a minimum-wage job. It's hard to get promoted especially when there are corporate politics involved. I'm not giving up but what I am saying is that a lack of success isn't entirely in a person's hands. It's in Allah's hands.