I became a Quranist 2 months ago. Most yall might know how it is to grow up in a sunni household. Although my parents were not the hardcore sunnis like others ( thank God ) they too, like any other sectarian, never questioned these stupid hadiths. Well, neither did I. My parents never focused on teaching me hadiths, it was always limited to learning arabic and reading Quran. All the other stuffs like praying, charity was taught to me by my parents . Basically i never grew up in a family who put hadiths to high priority. But whenever some question was raised concerning some weird rules like why i cannot go out without wearing hijab or why i cannot drink water while standing, the only answer i got is " it's from Allah and his Prophet so we have to follow it "
Oddly, i never questioned it and i wasn't the one who was very religious so it didn't matter to me .
Fast forward when i was 13 i got my heartbroken by a 30 year old man ( typical teenage behaviour, nothing happened i was safe ) and then you know what happens when your family keeps telling you that Allah forbids love and we shouldn't question his law since there's always some hidden good in it. Guess what happened to me ? I was infatuated with a guy, got my heart broken and realised my parents were right. From then my journey of learning about my religion started. I went From not wanting to wear hijab to wearing a niqab ( imagine and that too at the age of 13 ). For 2 years, i was the typical orthodox/extremist muslim girl who was okay with hadiths calling us bad omen and even agreed with it lol. Then at 15 i got into novels ( romance novels ) and being the freak i was, i googled whether it's haram to read romance novels or not, found the best extemist site ( yall must be aware of it ) called islamqa. Tried quitting reading but i was addicted. Now i wasn't satisfied with the answer. For the first time i was questioning it then searched up multiple sited and got different ideas and then I realised that there was no one sunni. Not only Islam was divided into sects, the sects also had sects. There wasn't one sunnism that us sunni followed. They were divided into more schools. And then my journey of dissecting hadiths started. I was questioning different books hadiths, finding how people graded the authenticity of hadiths. Not even then did i question the existence of Hadiths. I was merely questioning the authenticity of some of them. Came to one conclusion that if the different fiqh schoole can chose which hadiths to follow and which to reject then so can i. Continued reading romance novels ( explicit romance novels. Cant believe they are the major factor in opening my eyes ). Fast forward to this year, I turned 19. Now i was a very liberal muslim, i still followed the hadiths, but now i was able to recognise which hadith is authentic and which isn't. The issue started when i came across an ig post and how muslims were literally hating on homosexual people. They were mocking them, literally saying how they would love to see them killed. I knew that homosexuality is considered haram in Islam but i didn't know that people were being prosecuted Because of it. That Allah told muslims to prosecute these people. This didn't sound like something a God would say. I mean that's really barbaric to take someone's life away and i also heard many Muslims quoting the verse of Quran " if a person kills an innocent person it's as if he killed the whole humanity " and i couldn't wrap this around my head how the same God who revealed this verse would ask to kill LGBTQ. I mean yes homosexuality is a sin but this sin doesnot affects the other. So why is Allah asking humans to punish it. I supported the movement of LGBTQ+ i believe they deserve rights and they shouldn't be killed. Guess what we found in hadiths. Prosecution of LGBTQ+ and stoning to death. Now this didn't sit well with me all. This was the time that now I started reading Quran. Imagine for 6 years i never once opened the Quran Because it was ingrained in my mind that this book is only read for earning rewards from Allah and to find duas from it. When i didn't find anything in the Quran that's when i questioned how come hadiths are being given precedence over Quran? Then did more research, came across a post on Quora about Quranist. heard their arguments, agreed with them and left sunnism 2 months ago. Had an argument with a hadithmonger and he asked me how did i read the Quran when there are different Qirrat. Was searching for the answer on any Quranist site. Came across this forum. I have never even used any forum like this ever. Dont know a thing how this works. But i wanted to be a part of a group who share the same beliefs as me.
Peace Sania...
I never read your introduction as it deserves... Now I have read it twice out of curiosity ...
My natural instinct says you are from subcontinent.. May be totally wrong..
Anyway... Matter is, You just got into Quran alone just two months before as you say... And you further say you took the Quran after 6 years... It means after age 13.. And again say Quran alone is not giving any meaning to you.. And now you say that you want to become apostate... And goes on to say even to deist..
You are too young sister.. Look what you utter with rush of blood .. Typical college girl.. Sorry not to hurt you.. No intent..
How did you manage to judge everything within two months to jump from one to another... Can you keep patient pls with one thing constantly.. . Do you know why Quran was revealed at regular intervals over a long period.. Coz God wanted strengthen the heart of the messenger towards it..
That's a serious thing for mere 19 year old girl anyhow..
My advice is concentrate in your education.. First finish that.. Let your ambition become true God will .... I wonder how can you concentrate heavy loads of Quran and its meaning while you still having your basic education... That's extra burden for a student..
In sha Allah you will have a good picture about God and His book when you face life with maturity.. Maturity in age always add something into life to ponder.. .
But.. When you are free keep exploring as well.. Coz to have faith in God age is not a limit.. But to get convinced it definitely takes time that's incontrovertible...
At the end of your introduction you have said.. "But i wanted to be a part of a group who share the same beliefs as me." So which group you are now to be part of..
I said what I felt right for you.. But it is your life, and do what you want...but every age group has their own world.. That's so natural..
Believe always in God that will pave way during the course of your life...
