Doubt regarding Quran, the Prophet...Dealing with addiction

[shakeel]

Hello,

I have been dealing with a serious addiction for over a couple of decades. For the last few years, I have worked different program of recovery and also started praying Fajr at Masjid and the like.
But every 2 months, I would relapse to the point that I started to doubt Allah and his message and Mohammed
I would find very reasonable reasons that this message is could not come from Thee God. But then I would revert back to islam once again and pray(salat) and read the Quran again. This cycle been going for years now. As of today, I prayed Fajr at the mosque, but as I read Quran sometimes I start to doubt again.
Wondering if anyone ever felt this way before? and if someone could help, ready to talk on Skype.
My Duaa nowadays is asking God to make me one of the Mumineen, If I could just have the Iman of the pious, If I could just believe without a doubt...

[jkhan]

Hello,

I have been dealing with a serious addiction for over a couple of decades. For the last few years, I have worked different program of recovery and also started praying Fajr at Masjid and the like.
But every 2 months, I would relapse to the point that I started to doubt Allah and his message and Mohammed
I would find very reasonable reasons that this message is could not come from Thee God. But then I would revert back to islam once again and pray(salat) and read the Quran again. This cycle been going for years now. As of today, I prayed Fajr at the mosque, but as I read Quran sometimes I start to doubt again.
Wondering if anyone ever felt this way before? and if someone could help, ready to talk on Skype.
My Duaa nowadays is asking God to make me one of the Mumineen, If I could just have the Iman of the pious, If I could just believe without a doubt...

Peace...
First of all don't give up... God is with you... but 20 years is long period to tackle one thing...which is belief... You have not established your faith yet... I think you are muslim and not mumin... Only muslim can doubt God at regular intervals and not Mumin ... Mumin also very rarely may doubt depending on the situation.... But not really doubting God but his help and hope... it has happened to messengers and believers as per quran...

May I know what kind of situations which makes you to doubt in God...? If you want you can PM me or better in public... so that everyone may help you if God will

[good logic]

Peace Shakeel.

Some of us, I speak firstly about myself, are not "traditional Muslims". For example I do not frequent the Masjids that are mixing up their entities and are not devoted to GOD Alone.
My past experience with one or two masjids felt like  the worship of GOD and Mohammed was done there. I felt they went against Qoran":

72:18
The Masjids belong to God(Alone); do not call on anyone else beside God.
وَأَنَّ المَسٰجِدَ لِلَّهِ فَلا تَدعوا مَعَ اللَّهِ أَحَدًا
Just thought I clarify this for you.
Of course you are welcome to ask/discus with us anything you wish. I hope you will find a way.
Please also allow me to confirm for you  my thoughts on  Islam  and GOD s universal message:
http://www.total-loyalty-to-god-alone.co.uk/simple-and-universal-message/

I also would not mind a public discussion here or a private PM..
GOD bless you.
Peace.

[shakeel]

Yeah Thanks guys for your replies. as for what is it that makes me doubt. Some verses in the Quran for instance. such as the self serving Mohammed verses. Of course, Hadith is not part of this discussion. I am just sticking with Quran here. If I was asked what is it about islam that bothers me, I would fill pages worth of things.
I do find solace in prayer/salat though. I will check out that website you sent me and get back to you.
I also think that my struggle to stay sober using Duaa, prayer and programs of recovery did not lead to any positive outcome, in fact just the opposite. getting worst and worst, is not helping either.

[jkhan]

Yeah Thanks guys for your replies. as for what is it that makes me doubt. Some verses in the Quran for instance. such as the self serving Mohammed verses. Of course, Hadith is not part of this discussion. I am just sticking with Quran here. If I was asked what is it about islam that bothers me, I would fill pages worth of things.
I do find solace in prayer/salat though. I will check out that website you sent me and get back to you.
I also think that my struggle to stay sober using Duaa, prayer and programs of recovery did not lead to any positive outcome, in fact just the opposite. getting worst and worst, is not helping either.

Peace..
You have not exposed cream and the essence of your issue... Mohamed's self-serving verses cannot be your main issue.... Just tell us in detail what actually going through with you to fundamentally to go against God and again come back to the one you doubted....

You say you are getting worst and worst ....So you know very well to judge yourself .... I mean to say the triggering cause for all these fluctuation...
First of all you have crystal clearly came to a point that God does exist... But your love towards worldly pleasure and problems has taken you away from Him time to time to do the error at will in freedom neglecting God ... But things goes wrong to you at many frequent intervals, then again you have approached to God... It is not belief... You have never believed in God as He should have been believed neither you were righteous enough.... You have used the God for your benefit and for circumstance which is inevitable in your life without you perceived.... You only thought you believe in God but in reality it was not.. What if had you died within these 20 years period.... Do you think that you would have achieved the ultimate goal... I doubt though....Remember Dude, God promises only to believers the Janna.. if my understanding of quran is correct... So, being a believer self-perception... One has to be righteous in action + should have faith in God... then becomes a Believer...
Neither your actions has become righteous nor your Belief has become strong.. you are wavering....Satan has understood you perfectly and given the treatment accordingly.. You have to get out of this shackle... How?......
First develop your righteousness... anyone can be a good person regardless of faith.... So develop that first.... Then cultivate the Belief in God....
No one will experience this, unless whose righteousness is weak... Try to do the maximum of Good things... even any religious people do so... The difference is Belief in God... Cultivate it after that... You can't cultivate Belief in God without having Good conduct first...So be righteous then Believe in God.. So you will start to become close to God day by day.. You can maintain the righteousness if you have the Belief in God only... otherwise whatever the righteousness any one possess will fade off with the time and problems...

19:96 "Indeed, those who have BELIEVED and done RIGHTEOUS DEEDS - the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection."
Belief and Righteous deeds are combination... both alone will never take us anywhere... So I think you are at times either belief and no righteous deeds or sometimes No belief and but righteous deeds... both not blended with you at a constantly  ... We can't judge you .... You know yourself more than any human.... So, find out what you want and where things went wrong for your want...
Note : I didn't ask whether you are a conventional muslim or quran only... coz.... Once you have doubt in God, there is no point asking both.... So... I responded in this manner....

God will you will find a way out.... God bless you..

[good logic]

Peace Shakeel.

Please state which verses you are talking about here, quote:

Some verses in the Quran for instance. such as the self serving Mohammed verses. Of course, Hadith is not part of this discussion.

All the ones I find with Mohammed in them do not self serve him? For example:

God and His angels 'Yossalloon ala al Nabi', O you believers you shall 'Salloo alayhee' and 'Sallemoo tasleema'.
I ask this simple question to any Muslim:
'When you say 'Salli ala al Nabi' what do you really mean? Are you praising the prophet? Are you imploring him so that he may intercede on your behalf on judgment day, are you praying God to grant the prophet His highest mercy? or what?

So I say to them GOD is self serving every believer?:
He is the one who 'Yessallee alaikom' (for the believers) and His angels, to deliver you out of darkness into the light.

And These (the believers) have deserved 'Sallawat' from their Lord and mercy, they are the guided ones.

Also remember Mohammed should do the same?:
Take from their money a charity to purify them and sanctify them, and 'Salli alaihom' for your 'Sallawat' reassures them. God is Hearer, Omniscient.
Of course GOD does not "self serve anyone" GOD is merely asking all of us to help and support each other. GOD also help and supports the Nabi and all the believers.
For me the verse just means: God and His angels help and support the prophet. O you who believe, you shall help and support him, and Submit  a total submission.(Do not be a Munafiq,a doubter/pretender....)

I find from all the verses about Mohammed the following only:

It is clear from these verses that God commands believers to do three things regarding His prophet :
To believe in him.
To support him.
To obey and follow his message (the Quran).
etc...
I find  the so called self serving verses of Mohammed  false interpretations to serve an agenda of "shirk".
Anyway, GOD bless you.
Peace.

[Wakas]

peace shakeel,

My Duaa nowadays is asking God to make me one of the Mumineen,

Out of curiosity is there an example in Quran of prophets/messengers asking God to make them of the mumineen? I have never studied it hence asking.

If I could just have the Iman of the pious, If I could just believe without a doubt...

The Quran provides examples of prophets/messengers with doubts, or seeking guidance, asking questions, making small errors etc. Having certainty does not mean one will not be tested, suffer challenges in life etc.

My advice is to increase the positive experiences in your life, and this can be many things, e.g. helping those in need, familial relations, good friends, reading Quran, exercising, prayer etc etc. Reflect on how this makes you feel and you may well glimpse what you are seeking, an insight into the divine.

[Cerberus]

There is a proverb that says:
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not in the branch, but in its own wings.

The cycle you're talking about is a normal thing when all you're trying to achieve is self-fulfillement. Your coming back is for the sake of self-fulfillement, and your leaving is also for the sake of self-fulfillement....My advice is to try to think about your actions a little bit more, find time for some reflection. We learn about ourselves through our sins, they teach us many things if we can listen with honesty.

And then there is this other quote from Rumi that says:
You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?

[Jafar]

Why I often here see most people missed the important issue and make a fuss over something which doesn't matter? 

@Shakeel

I don't see your 'doubt' about Quran or Muhammad as a problem, you never met Mohammad and the book was written and compiled centuries before you're being born, whatever opinion that you have regarding it truly it doesn't matter.

What I see as important is about your addiction, and your restlessness..
Maybe it will help if you can start to learn to disassociate yourselves from the thought inside your head, which caused your addiction. Disassociating yourselves from the thought might be a key ingredients to control the thought inside your head and progress towards leaving or controlling your addiction.

[jkhan]

22:11 "And among men there is such a one as serves God upon the very edge -- if good befalls him he is at rest in it, but if a trial befalls him he turns completely over; he loses this world and the world to come; that is indeed the manifest loss.'

If regular intervals we lose the connection of God then I hope the above verse also befits...
May Allah save us