Author Topic: Does the Quran Support the Concept of Dating?  (Read 1476 times)

BelieverAni

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Does the Quran Support the Concept of Dating?
« on: February 13, 2020, 01:18:56 PM »


Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. Men and women who choose to date often have no commitment to consider marrying the other person. With dating, intimacy precedes commitment.

I seek refuge in God from Satan the rejected.

Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you, [and your food is lawful for them]. Also, you may MARRY the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due DOWRIES. YOU SHALL MAINTAIN CHASTITY, NOT BEING LEWD, NOR TAKING SECRET LOVERS. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers. [Quran 5:5] 



IF YOU DIVORCE THEM BEFORE TOUCHING THEM, but after you had set the dowry for them, the compensation shall be half the dowry, unless they voluntarily forfeit their rights, or the party responsible for causing the divorce chooses to forfeit the dowry. To forfeit is closer to righteousness. You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. God is Seer of everything you do. Quran 2:237

Marry chaste women provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not being lewd nor taking secret lovers. Also in the second verse it speaks about divorcing women before touching them, now how is this possible if they had got intimate with each other beforehand? I find the Quran to support courtship not dating.



Courtship is the period of development towards an intimate relationship wherein a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be a betrothal or an engagement, followed by a marriage. Courtship is undertaken only when both parties are prepared to make a commitment to marriage. With courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.



Peace.
"Guide us to the straight path" Quran 1:6

Kangzosa

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Re: Does the Quran Support the Concept of Dating?
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2022, 07:17:04 AM »


Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. Men and women who choose to date often have no commitment to consider marrying the other person. With dating, intimacy precedes commitment.

I seek refuge in God from Satan the rejected.

Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you, [and your food is lawful for them]. Also, you may MARRY the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due DOWRIES. YOU SHALL MAINTAIN CHASTITY, NOT BEING LEWD, NOR TAKING SECRET LOVERS. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers. [Quran 5:5] 



IF YOU DIVORCE THEM BEFORE TOUCHING THEM, but after you had set the dowry for them, the compensation shall be half the dowry, unless they voluntarily forfeit their rights, or the party responsible for causing the divorce chooses to forfeit the dowry. To forfeit is closer to righteousness. You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. God is Seer of everything you do. Quran 2:237

Marry chaste women provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not being lewd nor taking secret lovers. Also in the second verse it speaks about divorcing women before touching them, now how is this possible if they had got intimate with each other beforehand? I find the Quran to support courtship not dating.



Courtship is the period of development towards an intimate relationship wherein a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be a betrothal or an engagement, followed by a marriage. Courtship is undertaken only when both parties are prepared to make a commitment to marriage. With courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.



Peace.

If 'dating' involves pre-marital sex, or 'zina', then no, the Quran does not support 'dating'.

There is such a thing as engagement because 2:236 talks about breaking off a marriage before consummation and before a settled dowry, and 2:237 talks about breaking off (the word used is divorce) before consummation and after a settled dowry.

So 'courtship' not in the sense of 'flirting' but in the sense of gathering information, taking counsel, discussing and learning with people, would be the preamble to engagement and would continue through engagement until marriage.

It's my interpretation that what's translated as 'divorce' here cannot mean a divorce from marriage, because this verse can't come into contradiction with 65:2 which calls for 2 witnesses to secure a divorce from marriage. Rather it is a separation or divorce from an engagement, which is to say, you can be engaged without having settled a dowry or having had sex, but you cannot be 'married' without having had sex. This is in contradiction to the traditionalist (or secularist) who would say that the fact of marriage is established by nikkah, I.E written contract. But I would argue that this only establishes the legal fact which is in reality a legal fiction until or unless consummation takes place.

I would accept that engagement can take place before and after the settlement of a dowry, but that the settlement of the dowry would obviously escalate the seriousness of the matter.

The Middle Path

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Re: Does the Quran Support the Concept of Dating?
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2022, 05:26:23 PM »
Peace Believer Ani

I think you got good advice from Kangsoza. His post was thoughtful and percipient.

Let me share a link to one of my past posts with you.

https://free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9611692.msg436913#msg436913
Hai Zamane Ka Taqaza Anjuman
Aur Be-Khalwat Nahin Souz-e-Sukhan