Author Topic: Changing last name when getting married  (Read 447 times)

Amra94

  • Apprentice
  • **
  • Posts: 288
  • Gender: Female
Changing last name when getting married
« on: July 08, 2019, 11:10:21 AM »
Do you think the woman should change her last name when she gets legally married?

33:5 Call them by [the names of] their fathers; it is more just in the sight of God. But if you do not know their fathers - then they are [still] your brothers in religion and those entrusted to you. And there is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but [only for] what your hearts intended. And ever is God Forgiving and Merciful.

This verse says that you should call adopted sons by their fathers name, so obviously the father has the dominant name to give the child. Since the child will have the fathers last name, doesn't it make more sense that the mom does too so that you'll be identified as a family?

huruf

  • Wise One / Burnout
  • *****
  • Posts: 6425
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2019, 11:21:39 AM »
In spain and portugal people do not change names when they marry and have the family names of the father and the mother.

Why should a family have a single name? If it is necessary you hyphen-name of one consort-name of the other ocnsort.

I have never understood why in so many countries people undergo such an ordeal as changing names with all the complications it brings for documents an all...  not to speak of the violence it entails to have all your life your own name and suddenly you have to give it up and take another.

I do not think the Qur'an orders that people should have the father name, rather as the usage was that, what it was saying was that the usage should be followed even if you adopt a child, and let him keep his fathers name not change it to the adoptive father's.



Salaam

Amra94

  • Apprentice
  • **
  • Posts: 288
  • Gender: Female
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2019, 01:51:10 PM »
In spain and portugal people do not change names when they marry and have the family names of the father and the mother.

Why should a family have a single name? If it is necessary you hyphen-name of one consort-name of the other ocnsort.

I have never understood why in so many countries people undergo such an ordeal as changing names with all the complications it brings for documents an all...  not to speak of the violence it entails to have all your life your own name and suddenly you have to give it up and take another.

I do not think the Qur'an orders that people should have the father name, rather as the usage was that, what it was saying was that the usage should be followed even if you adopt a child, and let him keep his fathers name not change it to the adoptive father's.



Salaam
Salam. True, it can complicate things on documents but here it can also be confusing when you say you're married but documents show the couple doesn't have the same last name. And I think having two last names would be ridiculously long, some hispanics have some long names like Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez..
Even though it says the adopted child should keep his father's name it still shows that the child doesn't have both the father's and mother's last name. But idk since there's no clear commandment I guess it's up to the woman if she wants to change it or not.

huruf

  • Wise One / Burnout
  • *****
  • Posts: 6425
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2019, 02:14:37 PM »
Not ridiculously long, since where they do not have two family names they do have two first names, which makes for exactly the same length, but they discard the mothers name, which is logical because finally what has a mother to do with her children? nothing at all, only the father has something to do with the children, but the mother? a mere stranger. 

Salaam 

Amra94

  • Apprentice
  • **
  • Posts: 288
  • Gender: Female
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2019, 03:27:58 PM »
Not ridiculously long, since where they do not have two family names they do have two first names, which makes for exactly the same length, but they discard the mothers name, which is logical because finally what has a mother to do with her children? nothing at all, only the father has something to do with the children, but the mother? a mere stranger. 

Salaam
What do you mean only the father has something to do with the children? The mother would have her husband's last name so her last name would be the same as the children's too.

huruf

  • Wise One / Burnout
  • *****
  • Posts: 6425
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2019, 01:52:53 AM »
Quote
What do you mean only the father has something to do with the children? The mother would have her husband's last name so her last name would be the same as the children's too.

Exactly, the wife is the first c hild of the husband, not his wife but his child. That is it. She stops being her father or other offspring and becomes the guardinaed or the property of the husband, just like his children. Disgusting.

If not, why not ahieve the same result you seem to find so desirable by the father taking the mother's last name? Wouldn't it amount to the same?

And really what is the problem in not changing names. No problem whatsoever in that. None. Where do you see the problem?

People are not  things that you can call some thing today and something else next day, but you see as natural that women should be treated like things and be given the names of their owner just as they used to do with slaves, who took the name of the owner.

Salaam

Amra94

  • Apprentice
  • **
  • Posts: 288
  • Gender: Female
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2019, 07:32:39 AM »
Exactly, the wife is the first c hild of the husband, not his wife but his child. That is it. She stops being her father or other offspring and becomes the guardinaed or the property of the husband, just like his children. Disgusting.

If not, why not ahieve the same result you seem to find so desirable by the father taking the mother's last name? Wouldn't it amount to the same?

And really what is the problem in not changing names. No problem whatsoever in that. None. Where do you see the problem?

People are not  things that you can call some thing today and something else next day, but you see as natural that women should be treated like things and be given the names of their owner just as they used to do with slaves, who took the name of the owner.

Salaam
How does changing your last name make you the husbands child or property? And it's like becoming a slave? Nobody sees it that way.
And there's no problem with not changing your name I said it's up to the woman if she wants to or not.

huruf

  • Wise One / Burnout
  • *****
  • Posts: 6425
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2019, 09:32:21 AM »
How does changing your last name make you the husbands child or property? And it's like becoming a slave? Nobody sees it that way.


Then what is the point of changing it?

Salaam

Amra94

  • Apprentice
  • **
  • Posts: 288
  • Gender: Female
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2019, 12:27:47 PM »
Then what is the point of changing it?

Salaam
For most people it's just to feel more like you're a family. Btw Quranically the father has the responsibility to provide for the family (4:34, 2:233). I don't see how a woman is like a slave by taking the husbands name when he is the one who takes care of her.

Bikrun

  • Beginner/Inquirer
  • *
  • Posts: 16
  • Gender: Female
Re: Changing last name when getting married
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2019, 01:22:10 PM »
Do you think the woman should change her last name when she gets legally married?

33:5 Call them by [the names of] their fathers; it is more just in the sight of God. But if you do not know their fathers - then they are [still] your brothers in religion and those entrusted to you. And there is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but [only for] what your hearts intended. And ever is God Forgiving and Merciful.

This verse says that you should call adopted sons by their fathers name, so obviously the father has the dominant name to give the child. Since the child will have the fathers last name, doesn't it make more sense that the mom does too so that you'll be identified as a family?

Salam

May I ask why it is given that 33:5 talks only about adopted children? And who are those "them" that should call them by their fathers?