Doubts about marriage- marrying non muslims

[Sarah]

Peace

Okay I have huge doubts about marriage- when it comes to marrying a non muslim...

I've looked around at other questinos about the same topic...some people on the forums here say that if a believer marries a non muslim- this sin alone can land you into hell...

I understand the only unforgivable sin is shirk but what if God decides not to forgive other sins too (since He might still punish us for those)? What if marrying a non muslim is this sin that won't be forgiven for a specific individual?

I'm still not FULLY convinced that women can also marry christian and jews because all it says for women is don't marry a mushrik and it doesn't even give exclusive permission to marry anyone other than a believer....but maybe not all non muslims are idolaters since there are verses in the Qur'an that make a distinction between Christians and mushriks (even disbelieving 'people of the book' (I'm not sure if the classic meaning of people of the book meaning just Jews and Christians is correct...)

'It is never the wish of those without Faith among the People of the Book, nor of the Pagans (mushrikeen), that anything good should come down to you from your Lord. But Allah will choose for His special Mercy whom He will - for Allah is Lord of grace abounding.' 2:105

The above verse seems to suggest that God does not mean every non muslim is automatically considered an idolater right?

The thing is, I don't want to meet someone, get married and then later on feel GUILT for making the wrong decision if that person i.e. say they were a Christian- if I later find out Christians who worship Jesus are idolaters....I don't want to live in guilt for the rest of my life for being married to someone who is a 'mushrik'...HOWEVER the verse above seems to suggest even 'those without faith' amongst the people of the book (remember in other places of the Qur'an it suggests some Christians do believe/ have faith) are not 'mushrikeen'...

And what about atheists...are atheists considered 'mushrikeen'?


I know some people (despite the verse quoted about the distinction between christians & pagans) would still say that christians who worship jesus are mushriks because they commit shirk and the christians at that time weren't worshipping jesus (where's the evidence they didn't worship jesus 1400 years ago?)....but if they didn't, why would God say in the Quran,' Do not say 3'?:

'O People of the Book! Commit no excesses in your religion: Nor say of Allah aught but the truth. Christ Jesus the son of Mary was (no more than) a messenger of Allah, and His Word, which He bestowed on Mary, and a spirit proceeding from Him: so believe in Allah and His messengers. Say not "Trinity": desist: it will be better for you: for Allah is one Allah: Glory be to Him: (far exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belong all things in the heavens and on earth. And enough is Allah as a Disposer of affairs.' (4:171, Yusuf Ali)

What about atheists, are they mushrikeen? Idolaters worship idols made from wood and stone...atheists have the opposite view of literal idolaters because they would never worship an actual idol as a god such as modern pagans or hindus....it's true they might 'worship' their own egos in the sense that they only live for themselves or the people and the things they care about (and so would some people who consider themselves muslim, jewish etc.) but it's not blatant idol worship like an actual paganism therefore I'm not sure if they're considered as part of the 'mushrikeen'...

Furthermore,there are people of the view that the 'do not marry the mushrikeen' verses are in context of the time of the Prophet and only refer to the mushrikeen at that time who were at war with the believers....is there any evidence that this is true? Because if it is, that would mean you can marry anyone of any religion...


This is why I'm so confused and in so much doubt because I just don't know which views on who the 'mushrikeen' are are correct :/

Please, if you do know more about all the point I've made, elaborate and explain and share your views...

Thanks

Peace

[jkhan]

Peace Sarah...

Simply you verify what is shirk or the derivatives of this three letters... ش ر ك
72:20 Say: 'I call only upon my Lord, and I do not associate/join/equalize (shirk - ش ر ك ) with Him anyone.

It's not Idolaters or polytheists merely....but anyone be it a muslim even who associate / join / equalize with God anyone or any matter knowingly or unknowingly... He or she will end up in the category of rejecting the verses of GOD.... 6:121 is a perfect example.... if you workout that then i think you can understand to whom you can marry...find out who the believer is as per quran...

[jkhan]

Peace sarah...

3:64 Say, "O People of the Scripture, come to a word that is equitable between us and you - that we will not worship except Allah and not associate anything with Him and not take one another as lords instead of Allah." But if they turn away, then say, "Bear witness that we are Muslims [submitting to Him]."

You can take the above manifest and precise verse as well for your support... i was looking for this verse seriously...

[Sarah]

Peace Sarah...

Simply you verify what is shirk or the derivatives of this three letters... ش ر ك
72:20 Say: 'I call only upon my Lord, and I do not associate/join/equalize (shirk - ش ر ك ) with Him anyone.

It's not Idolaters or polytheists merely....but anyone be it a muslim even who associate / join / equalize with God anyone or any matter knowingly or unknowingly... He or she will end up in the category of rejecting the verses of GOD.... 6:121 is a perfect example.... if you workout that then i think you can understand to whom you can marry...find out who the believer is as per quran...

But why does the Qur'an permit men to marry believers and ALSO well as women of the people of the book? And it doesn't say only believing women of the people of the book:

“As to marriage, you are allowed to marry the chaste from among the believing women and the chaste from among those who have been given the Book before you (are lawful for you); provided that you have given them their dowries, and live with them in honor, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines.”Qur’an (5:5).

It makes a distinction between 'believing women' and women who 'have been given the book before you'...it doesn't say believing women who have been given the book before you...if I remember correctly, i think you said that you can never know what is in the hearts of another person anyway- if they're a believer or not...

[TheNabi]

Peace Sarah,

Okay I have huge doubts about marriage- when it comes to marrying a non muslim...

In chapter 66 of the quran you might note two examples cited of people who were married to non-believers (v. 10-11), "those who have rejected, the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot... the wife of Pharoah... 'save me from Pharoah and his works; save me from the transgressing people.'"

what if God decides not to forgive other sins too

As far as I know God may indeed forgive those who acknowledge their wrongs (ch/v. 9/102-104). It might also cheer your mind to know that God does multiply the weight of your good deeds while the bad deeds stand as is.

Whoever comes with a good deed, he will receive ten times its worth, and whoever comes with a sin, he will only be recompensed its like; they will not be wronged. (6/160)

Joe

[Jafar]

Peace

Okay I have huge doubts about marriage- when it comes to marrying a non muslim...

Seekout the meaning of the word 'muslim'....
Then you will find out, by yourselves, that there is no possible way that a 'non-muslim' could exist.

Since non-muslim doesn't exist, then there is now way you could marry one...

Furthermore,there are people of the view that the 'do not marry the mushrikeen' verses are in context of the time of the Prophet and only refer to the mushrikeen at that time who were at war with the believers....is there any evidence that this is true? Because if it is, that would mean you can marry anyone of any religion...

If God, the true God that is which controls everything, doesn't allow something to marry / have sex with another thing then He will certainly makes it so through many means, He will make their DNA incompatible, as such it will not be 'attracted' to one another (anyone attracted to Chimps or Orangutan or Cockroach?) or their living context (location / time) is so distant that there will be never any chance that they could meet physically.

No one today could marry a Neanderthal or a Denisovans although (modern) human DNA is compatible with them since they no longer exist. Yet, today's (modern) human DNA has revealed that the mixing between Neanderthal, Denisovans and human did happened in the past. It means that God allows it, as everything happened in accordance to His plan right?

Having said that...
Restriction of marrying with enemy, or group of people labeled as enemy, is a common behavior shown by human, especially by the politicians / ruler / religious leader among them. The objective is to ensure that such specific group is and will still be considered as an enemy, by the populace.

If marriage happened between those two group, slowly the group will be merged into one society sharing a (new) and common identity. Their identity, tradition and culture will be mixed into one. And the people will be reluctant to kill / show hostility towards one another. Which is bad.... for politicians... but good.. for the society as a whole....

Real world example is too many to count, but here's a few, Native Americans & Spaniards = Mexicans, Native Americans & European & Asians & Africans = Americans, Israelite & Arabs = Judean and of course Neanderthal & Denisovans & Human = Today's Human.