Author Topic: What is love? - discuss.  (Read 13636 times)

Jane

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What is love? - discuss.
« on: June 27, 2014, 11:49:05 AM »
Peace all,

So I have been busy on the Nature of God topics. Lots of debate about what Allah/the God is or is not, but I was just thinking earlier that actually I didn't notice anyone say 'God is love'; I sometimes hear this but I don't really get it. If God is awareness is that what love is also?

Lots of people are obsessed with measuring how much they are loved or trying to get more - 'you don't love me enough' or 'you'd do it if you really loved me' etc, you hear a lot. I am thinking well, what is this precious stuff anyway? Maybe I don't care if or how much I am loved; I think personally if I were to just get to know what it was, then I think that would be enough for me...

anyone think they know??


PEACE

Sonny

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2014, 01:07:30 PM »
Good question. Plato once said: "Love is a serious mental disease", sometimes I have to agree with him  ;D. If you talk about love between man and woman than I think love is a chemical process in a body that creates emotions, like drugs, people become addicted to each other.

huruf

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2014, 01:44:08 PM »
Well love is just as God. Each person has his or her mental idea of what love may mean or is. Undoubtedly there is something but there could hardly be definition that would suit everybody.

For me love is the aspiration to unity and the need for it.

Salaam

Man of Faith

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2014, 02:53:03 PM »
Peace,

To maintain unity we need to show immense love for our fellow brothers and sisters, but the hardest part is to show love to a stranger. And obviously love is to show kindness, respect, justice, sound judgment and all else that the recitation (Quran) teaches.

The intention is not only to keep the unity between those who are already in your assembly but also invite the people in distant lands. What difference does it make if we only show love towards those who are inclined towards you?

Perhaps this was not the kind of love you were referring to though?

But we should not just expect too much of people to love us. Often you have to show ten times as much love before you get anything in return. And also there is a n conflict in how different people perceive love. And there can be gender-specific differences where men sometimes have another mind regarding how you show love. This may cause conflicts with women who are expecting love a certain way.

And men may feel unappreciated for what they do in terms of providing for their family in old school settings because they find a grumpy woman at home mostly complaining about things.

Moving more to the nature of love; in my eyes there are more than one variant. You have lusts and desires (sexual) which is simply reptile brain drives with the instinct to reproduce which our intellect (ab)uses by applying various kinds of prevention methods. That is not the real "love". Attachment and the bonding between man and woman separate from instincts is the real love in my opinion and when you love the person for who he/she is and not only for their looks and seducing moves or money and status. I can understand the primitive feelings of a woman to want a man who is self-sufficient and confident in himself, but that is another story.

As you said there may be an obsession with being loved, but it might also be that we do not do enough for our loved ones in some cases. A man can have problems with imagination and being romantic because beneath his heart he is just a very typical rough male. Women often want men to be "romantic" and many men may have problems with that and they are then accused of not showing love. And I think women often miss some things that the man subtly does for his woman possibly out of love. And women are often demanding on that front so it does frequently not matter if you try to give that little extra because she perceives it not.

I guess we should not blame these women for it, but we may blame romantic movies and novels for it because they create a too-perfect imaginary world for the woman to live in.

And we may blame action movies and coldy men in them for the kind of exaggerated behavior in men about having to be macho and often violent and emotionally detached.

The problem is in ourselves.

God bless you
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Zulf

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 04:43:18 AM »
To maintain unity we need to show immense love for our fellow brothers and sisters, but the hardest part is to show love to a stranger. And obviously love is to show kindness, respect, justice, sound judgment and all else that the recitation (Quran) teaches.

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But we should not just expect too much of people to love us.

Agreed.

I'd say that a prerequisite for love is selflessness. You cannot love someone, i.e. show love, if you're also selfish. Love is about NOT being selfish. If a selfish person loves something, then I guess it is just some sort of fascination or fondness or other type of attraction, but not actually love.

Also, the more peaceful you are inside, the easier it is to love... not just other people, but the world, and even your so called enemies. Love doesn't so much depend on the object of your love, but rather on yourself. For the selfless and peaceful people, love is not a mystery, but highly normal.

The feeling of falling in love, having a crush, is also not love... but rather a temporary intoxication. To have a crush on someone is definitely not the same as loving someone, although people mix these things too much.

I'd also say that the need for love is many times not really a need for love. Rather it is a need for attention and soothing. We may feel empty in side, so we want to cover it up with "love" from outside. If we feel we are in need of love, then we oftentimes have issues within ourselves to solve.. pertaining to peace and accepting oneself. If we cannot love our self then it would be hard to get love from the outside/somebody else.

 :group:
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huruf

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2014, 06:12:29 AM »
Quote
The feeling of falling in love, having a crush, is also not love... but rather a temporary intoxication. To have a crush on someone is definitely not the same as loving someone, although people mix these things too much.


And if it lasts 40 years is it also a temprorary intoxication?

I think love has many colours and textures and I say "yes" even if temporaryif infatuation if intoxication, it is love, a taste of love, not the all love, but it is a taste of it. We love because all our being asks for union, for melting with the beloved. But of course that is too much and God usually does not give us much of it. We mi8ght in fact get more than we can handle and then really, really become deluded thinking how great we must be that we have managed the difficult thing of earning the perfect love.

I rather suffer for love one hundred times than to think love is another word for success. In many things said about couple love, the final conclusion seems to be that if it does not turn out right it is failure on our part. I reject that outright. Love is never a failure, no matter how much disenchantment, unrequited love, heartbreaks or whatever, we are never cheated on anything. Love is there for us to love, not to be loved. If you love, no matter how disappointed to get, you still have done your part of the deal, and you earn your lesson, and GROW, like when you have pains in the knees or other parts because you are growing up.

I think we should thank God from our fearts for every love in our lives, every infatuation or intoxication, it is not a a disgrace or a failure, it is a gift, it is the most heartening of gifts.

I agree with all the criticism of romantic love for the absurd expectations it has brought people, specially women to have from men and the deapth of humilliation a abjection so many have undergone for the sake of that kin of love. But that said, what a gift it is... no gift can match falling in love and staying in for however long. While it lasts you are a believer. The challenge is to continue being a believer after it is ended. But we should thnk god. Wehumans ar enot meant to be perfect, but to be alive, be warriors in a quest, daring and trusting in our destiny. Whatever amount of union we may experience in a failed love, we may think that it was a cheat, that we cheated ourselves, nd it may be so, it is so. But not abosolutely so. There is always something, at the cor, that is true the truest of the truth. God has given us something that we maight not have expected that was not all, but that was like having a gold piece of unending beauty. It is not all the gold of the world, but it is still gold and of the purest kind.

What one should not do is loose self respect, dignity letting oneself become a steping slab for somebody unscrupulous. No matter how tempted we feel to give in to that person because we are so much taken up with him or her, we should put a limit to the concession, even while in love we should serve ustice and equity and not let somebody we love do things that we despise just because we love him adn he can get away with them. So, if it ends, when it ends, we will not be bitter at our own errors and indignities.

Love comes, I said, in many colours, the love of friendship, the love of beauty, the love of a father or a mother, or of a sibling or the love for your neighbours, for people you do not know, for everything. Those are the colours of love, as many as there are things in existence.

But please, do not do away with the colour of "romantic" love. The rainbow would get mad at you.

Salaam


Zulf

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2014, 11:10:02 AM »
And if it lasts 40 years is it also a temprorary intoxication?

Well, 40 years doesn't sound very temporary. It doesn't sound very common either... that you remain for year in and year out, in that head over heals, spinning, state, that occurs when first falling in love. I was basically referring to that state which typically "wears off" after some time... and grows into a stable, solid and sober love.
 
Quote
I rather suffer for love one hundred times than to think love is another word for success. In many things said about couple love, the final conclusion seems to be that if it does not turn out right it is failure on our part. I reject that outright. Love is never a failure, no matter how much disenchantment, unrequited love, heartbreaks or whatever, we are never cheated on anything. Love is there for us to love, not to be loved. If you love, no matter how disappointed to get, you still have done your part of the deal, and you earn your lesson, and GROW, like when you have pains in the knees or other parts because you are growing up.
:bravo:  :bravo:

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The challenge is to continue being a believer after it is ended.

Exactly... when the intoxication has ended... this is when it will show if both involved are able to love enough for the relationship to continue.

Quote
Love comes, I said, in many colours, the love of friendship, the love of beauty, the love of a father or a mother, or of a sibling or the love for your neighbours, for people you do not know, for everything. Those are the colours of love, as many as there are things in existence.

Indeed.

Quote
But please, do not do away with the colour of "romantic" love. The rainbow would get mad at you.

 ;D agreed

Peace
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Man of Faith

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2014, 11:20:36 AM »
Peace,

Some men have neanderthal brains when it comes to romantic stuff. Our idea of love is coming home with a piece of meat. Ogg!! ;-)

God bless you
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diamantinehoneybunch

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2014, 01:02:23 AM »
Good question. Plato once said: "Love is a serious mental disease", sometimes I have to agree with him  ;D. If you talk about love between man and woman than I think love is a chemical process in a body that creates emotions, like drugs, people become addicted to each other.
How true :'( :brickwall:
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savage_carrot

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Re: What is love? - discuss.
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2014, 01:56:17 AM »
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
No more.

Always wanted to post that. Love is a bond of affection/likability I'd say at the very core. Takes on different colours depending on the people involved. Where it starts getting messy is in regard to the expectations...that's why unconditional love is usually rare and confused with a lot of other things. Very few could claim to love unconditionally...and to have it be true, not sure if that even is a good thing. Duty and love may be confused there. Then again, we tend to place that sort of love on a pedestal, as an ideal...to love without expectation is the purest sort and all that. Like I said, not sure if that is healthy. In my view, a healthy love would consist of give and take which also allows for growth, adjustment and adaptation. Can the other sort also allow for that? Unlikely but possible in certain rare circumstances and since it would depend on a very particular set of people and circumstances, I would consider it an anomaly and not something that is very practical to strive/hope for. if it happens it happens kinda thing, and whether it leads to a happy life is another thing.
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