A dream turned nightmare.

[Brokenmusicbox]

post deleted

[es]

Gosh, I remember reading your posts and the flirtations were palpable.

[Cerberus]

Where has all the good muslim men gone?
Is there one NOT corrupted by porn addiction?

Maybe all the good muslim men are taken by the good muslim women. And the bad ones are left to the bad women. 

I think that like any addiction, the one with the addiction is the victim and is the one who needs all the help they can get.

People have different issues and flaws. None of these flaws they have wholeheartedly, willingly pursued. These issues come out of ignorance, like children making mistakes that they have to live with the rest of their life. We do not really know how they acquired these flaws and at which stage of their life (Bad influence from friends, dark days, abuse, bad parenting, entourage, whatever). Life kind of pushes people to be a mess. A walking mess with a good front facade that they make sure to keep in a good state for fear of being judged or looked down upon.

But it would be meaningless to be perfect from the get go, what is life other than continuous improvement ?

What matters is that when people mature enough to think for themselves these issues must be sorted out and acknowledged along with a willingness to improve. The longer it is dragged the messier it gets.

Of what use is a husband or a wife to their partner if it's not to be their mirror and be supportive in their improvement process ?

I think what you need is a patience, and wisdom and education about the subject in order to be able to substantially help your partner. And self-improvement too, it's a never ending process.

As for Porn addiction,
Self-awareness and greater understanding of things help in such cases, when paired with a strong willingness for abstention. Not an easy task for the average minds.
By no means does abstention paired with ignorance help in the improvement process.


The above image shows the frequency of usage of  "porn" in a google query, in a muslim country that is moderate enough to have porn uncensored, for the past 5 years. (You will find the same pattern for any muslim country)

The lowest points are ramadan month, no surprise there. But what comes right after ramadan is the most interesting, starting from its last days.

Two conclusions:
-1- There is a general willingness to do something about it.
-2- It fails.

A result, in my opinion, of an outer change that is not paired with an inner change.
But really the only way out is through Understandings at deeper levels. An entire revolution against all the mess they have long carried with them.

[good logic]

Peace Brockenmusicbox.
Welcome back to the forum.

Basically I do not know a lot about women, but from my  perspective(I am talking about myself as a man) ,men have a one track mind  especially when they are with their adversary(Shayateenahum!).

Being GOD conscious is one of the most powerful weapons. (Do those who commit bad things think that they can ever fool us?).

You could  replace the movie time with study time for a bit to change the habit?
You should talk it over and sincerely (like a contract) reach a workable agreement?
You should both of you involve GOD as a witness and a helper to sort this problem out for you?
... How much do you still want to be together?
You decide . Best of luck.
GOD bless you.
Peace.

[A Submitter]

Salam

Quite shameful that you post private matters between your husband and you in here while also disclosing your identities.

Would be great if he posted his side of the story too. Urge him to join the discussion.

Salam

[hawk99]

Peace,

4:35  If there appears to be discord between a wife and her husband and if they
desire reconciliation choose arbiters from the families of both sides. God will
bring them together; God is All-knowing and All-aware.

Salam

Quite shameful that you post private matters between your husband and you in here while also disclosing your identities.

Would be great if he posted his side of the story too. Urge him to join the discussion.

Salam

Agreed



                                                     

[imrankhawaja]

Maybe all the good muslim men are taken by the good muslim women. And the bad ones are left to the bad women. 

the birth of good and bad is a uniform process so i m still hoping 

peace All,

something whats in nature cannot be consider as wrong depend on the limits set by law..

sex is in nature of human being its very important that this thing must act and behave in a weird manner , importance of sex in biology play a role of giving a birth to a new human being so the manner must be something what a human nature wanted to do.. ( so dnt worry at all and think about the nature how he created things with perfection)


different people had different stories but that part is related with personal task so its better to solve this task and overcome it by different experiments.. (but make sure try to tell and share this with very close people) as it is totally a personal thing and its not important for anybody else to know about it..
its also a game like other games of life including education, rest , work, so work on it to master this thing.. like we do with other things.

in reality the thing we considered  as most shameful to share with is the thing what bring us in this life 

the beautiful thing in all of it to look from the lens of advance level then we see other things..
for example = drop of water bring a new creature with life ( )
this process is also a connection between two sexes  of human being " how to connect" same like when we connect two things to give us output in other shape .. like switch of light..

even in this thing there is lot more other things to think about and ponder over the beauty of creation but most of us just fall into the apparent value of thing..

God bless us all..