Salaam,
Currently I'm not in Turkey. I'm in United States of America as a PhD student.
I am open to discuss "where to live after marriage" and all other issues about marriage. Since I have found the true guidance, I don't (or try not to) worry much about these issues. To illustrate, assume that I married with someone like suggested in the verse 2/221 and assume that we started to live in place A. One day, my wife can come and show me the verse 4/97 or 16/41, and we can analyze the verse and discuss whether the verse applies to our case... and then if we believe the verse applies to our case (considering the definitions and indicators in Quran), we can easily start getting prepared for moving to another place called place B. Then maybe to place C, then to Place D... Earth is wide as the verse 29/56 puts it.
Because when Allah says it, He means it!
Let me humbly confess that I am using (or trying to use) this technique for a while, and everything works great. Of course there are some problems in my life (ex. I feel alone sometimes) but this is not a violation of what I say, instead I read them in parallel to the verse 4/79.
Just follow the guidance and do not worry. Most of the times we worry because we do not have a strong guidance about what we need to do. If we had a perfect guide (actually, we do) who knows our situation much better than us, we would not worry much when we followed what our guide says us. So what?
I think the less you worry in these situations in life, the less you become "associater-like" (see the verse 3/160 and also 5/23 and 9/13).
My ONLY expectation from this marriage is to serve the purpose of Allah. This is why I take the risk of keeping unmarried until I find her (maybe all my life). I would like to fear Allah very much.
Some people may be scared when they hear these. They may interpret my emphasis in "fearing Allah" in a different (yet very common) way. They may say something like:
"Fearing God so much can one day lead someone to seclude himself from worldly life so he can worship God 24hours/7days"
I respect such concerns; but, the person I am looking for should be able to easily answer such a concern like:
"No, Quran never guides people to seclude themselves from life".
Of course, this requires well established Quranic knowledge (see the verse 73/4 for how to do this) and I DO expect that from my future wife.
These are not easy to explain; but when she sees my message, (if God wills) she will easily understand what I mean and expect. Overall, it is very short: "the verse 2/221 (when read with the whole Message)".
I thank you for letting me clarify my points.
My native language is Turkish and I speak English as a second language. I don't speak any other languages. I understand that speaking in a second language at home would be less comfortable than the native language, however I do think that this can be solved (otherwise Quran would have told and warned me to consider it as another criteria).
Speaking in accordance with the Message at home seems the most important and this is what I desire and pray for.
Brother, the warning in 2/221 is so severe! : "Those call to the Fire...",
and this is why I would like to stick on just 2/221 (read in accordance with the whole Message) as my criteria. Remember, how Allah continues His message in that verse:
"... but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember"
Finally, of course I am not a perfect person, this is an ongoing struggle to be well aligned with the whole Message (see verse 12/53), so my prayer is as in verse 2/286
"...Our Lord, and do not over-burden us with whatever is beyond our capability... "
