Author Topic: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!  (Read 17214 times)

Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #50 on: September 22, 2012, 05:52:29 AM »
I have been judging a bit much. I want to be a pacifist but i keep fighting.

Peace is a choice I endeavour to make and practise.

Thanks
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scaredmuslimah

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #51 on: September 26, 2012, 08:24:24 AM »
Peace and Thanks Ikrame. Reasons I am telling this story is to encourage others towards good, that is towards God. It's not ego based God willing.

Thanks

Ervin,

I know you posted this last year, but I wanted to say I hope you are still doing better.  Interestingly enough, I was able to stop taking my anti-depressants after I converted to Islam.  I am sure it has to do with the constant rememberance of Allah!

Peace,

Amina

Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #52 on: September 29, 2012, 02:01:01 PM »
I am actually not a Muslim any more, but I still like to post threads on these forums.

The best way to describe my beliefs would be to read Eckhart Tolled books called:" A new earth " and "Stillness speaks".

Eckhart Tolle is quite popular, wo it should be easy to get his books. May I suggest the book depository, wich is a company that eels books situated in England. They don't charge for the postage and handling to quite a few countries.

Thanks
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Zulf

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #53 on: September 29, 2012, 07:02:28 PM »
I like Tolle's idea about the difference between religion and spirituality:

Quote from A New Earth:
"Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality and religion. They realize that having a belief system a set of thoughts that you regard as the absolute truth ? does not make you spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is. In fact, the more you make your thoughts (beliefs) into your identity, the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. Many ?religious? people are stuck at that level. They equate truth with thought, and as they are completely identified with thought (their mind), they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an unconscious attempt to protect their identity. They don?t realize the limitations of thought. Unless you believe (think) exactly as they do, you are wrong in their eyes, and in the not-too-distant past, they would have felt justified in killing you for that. And some still do, even now."
If you name me, you negate me.

scaredmuslimah

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #54 on: October 01, 2012, 06:31:46 AM »
I like Tolle's idea about the difference between religion and spirituality:

Quote from A New Earth:
"Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality and religion. They realize that having a belief system a set of thoughts that you regard as the absolute truth ? does not make you spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is. In fact, the more you make your thoughts (beliefs) into your identity, the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. Many ?religious? people are stuck at that level. They equate truth with thought, and as they are completely identified with thought (their mind), they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an unconscious attempt to protect their identity. They don?t realize the limitations of thought. Unless you believe (think) exactly as they do, you are wrong in their eyes, and in the not-too-distant past, they would have felt justified in killing you for that. And some still do, even now."


Zulf and Ervin,

Peace.  I absolutely agree with that quote. 

And regardless of what you now believe, if you are still doing better emotionally and mentally, then that is great. 

Peace,

Amina

Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #55 on: November 14, 2012, 12:18:19 AM »
I have two psychiatrists. The main one Dr B. and the other one Dr S. I see the other one almost all the time. The other one has been always trying to convince me that I have schizoefective disorder that a third doctor diagnosed me about 15 16 months ago.

And guess what: The other day the main psychiatrist Dr B. one was filling out some forms for my self and i told her to write down the TRUTH and i did remind her that I have been diagnosed with schizoefective by one doctor and that the other one Dr.S. viciously supports it, but that I don't believe that I have it and she refused to write down schizoafective disorder on the forms. She wrote only schizophrenia. She even refused to write paranoid next to it. And I told her: So I don't have scizhoefective disorder.

There you go, a doctor lied who diagnosed my symptoms of pharmaceuticals side efects as schizoefective and the psych I see on regular basis dr. S. suports his diagnosis strongly but his manager dr. B. obviously did otherwise. I got and I have kept copies of the forms as an EVIDENCE.

This is in Melbourne, Australia.

Thanks
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Rising Star

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #56 on: November 14, 2012, 01:55:59 AM »
good to know u are healed, and I have no doubt ALLAH can cure any thing and any one :)
Common sense is biggest religion

Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #57 on: November 17, 2012, 01:41:00 AM »
I copied the following that I wrote today from a philosophy forum:

 One thing I didn't mention and that is seconds prior to " spontaneous recovery " I made a choice to lie about my beliefs. I decided to lie about taking pharmaceuticals because I was pretty certain that they will tor e me to take them. But I started telling the truth about not taking and what happened happened. So I didn't just think about taking a risk. However eventually I decided to tell the truth, but I forgot about that detail, otherwise everything else was true.

Also, when I pleaded guilty to raping who appeared to be a woman, heroin user and a street prostitute of 20 years e said (I love her and I love the police and everyone else by the way), who wouldn't return the money when I asked her since she refused to do what I paid her for, I was going through a so called first psychotic episode. I got scared of hell and even though I thought its to late to "repent" I kept trying. Later on two confessions where due to so called schizophrenia. It came to me that that's how I can help myself get "better" and purify my self. Rest you can read in the thread if you wish and I would like your comment please.

Remember its ok what they have done to me. But, I wish to write about it. If you ask me like I said I want to align with the Source I feel is infinitely gentle.

I forgive everyone everything and love everyone and everything and I want peace in the end, if not now as well. And I do good my way because its my right.

Thanks

-- Updated Sat Nov 17, 2012 3:16 am to add the following --

Just want to ad that the so called symptoms of the illness came back eventually since I didn't want to lie ( thqts how it seemed at least) and whenever I decided wholeheartedly to lie, everything would get "better". But, I know that where there is will there is a way for doing actual good same as there is for evil. Existence is fair and I have rights same as "other/s" do. I have a choice.

Thanks

My real name is also Ervin

Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #58 on: November 17, 2012, 06:44:19 AM »
Also, I pleaded guilty but at first I wanted them questioned while affected by a so called what I was later told is psychotic, then schizophrenia to the indecent assaults where I asked two females, wo I got later told are 17 years old to have sex with and I touched one on the hips. When I pleaded guilty without any fighting later on I was on pharmaceuticals and not affected. The rest I did because I thought even while not affected by a so called illness because I like telling the whole truth, its me.

I was also in prison for adults on remand while in Europe while I was 15 Years old for break and enter. I was found guilty of some sort of an assault charge tor hitting a man while working as a crowd controller. I was in Australian military prison for awol( Absent without leave) I started taking amphetamines, actual injecting while in the Army. Plenty of other times I broke the so called laws but didn't deal with the police or courts because of it.

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Ervin

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Re: How my schizoohrenia that is supose to be for life disapeared!
« Reply #59 on: December 01, 2015, 06:05:38 AM »
Peace,

It has been about four years since I started this topic. Last three I have been heavily medicated. However, now, I am on a way lower dossage and I have come back to God and Islam.

Thanks
My real name is also Ervin