Author Topic: One reason I dislike Ramadan  (Read 1372 times)

scaredmuslimah

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One reason I dislike Ramadan
« on: July 31, 2012, 06:42:56 AM »
I feel horrible when others avoid eating around me!  I always tell them that it doesn't bother me one bit...that I do not get hungry when I see others eating or smell food, but they still tend to feel bad anyway. 

Just last week my coworker offered a mint to a lady standing next to me, and then said "Oh my gosh...that was so rude of me...I shouldn't have done that knowing you aren't eating!"  I told her that I actually wasn't fasting that day, but that it is perfectly fine to do so.  She relaxed a little.

Today is a BIG food day at the job:  One coworker is giving a briefing (with light refreshments) and then we have a team building meeting this afternoon (with popcorn and soda).  I just hope no one goes "Oh my gosh....I feel sooo bad!" 

Anyone else ever feel this way during Ramadan?

savage_carrot

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2012, 06:54:48 AM »
I know what you mean. Sure, it's annoying but I find it amusing too.
God has a plan, Gaius. He has a plan for everything and everyone.

SarahY

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2012, 03:32:22 AM »
I find it amusing too, it's almost like they feel guilty for eating.

Don't let it bother you, who knows it might make them reflect
We all have blind spots.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
ambiguity is there for a reason, why do you think?
We're all different, so how can we all be equal?

Zulf

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2012, 08:18:06 AM »
There are characters out there that say that it is respectful to not eat around those who fast.. and hence disrespectful to eat around those who fast. So, some people have picked up a sense of this notion, and tend to feel insecure and therefore bad, often when they don't belong to them same religion and therefor more easily feel insecure due to lack of knowledge and also the inherent soreness, touchiness and sensitivity in all that pertains to religion.

But I think that if someone feels disrespected when others eat around him/her, because it creates trouble for him/her, then that person should seriously ask him/herself WHY he/she is actually fasting. It cannot be out of conviction at least, since then you would have no issues fasting in the middle of a food festival... or you are just very weak minded and a slave to your own mind and its chaotic whims. Such people are also often in the game of self pity and would like to be seen as martyrs.

I know this is not directly relating to the situation described by the OP, but I thought I'd share my own personal first hand experience, since it relates to the same topic.

Peace! and happy fasting!
 :)
If you name me, you negate me.

scaredmuslimah

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2012, 10:15:54 AM »
There are characters out there that say that it is respectful to not eat around those who fast.. and hence disrespectful to eat around those who fast. So, some people have picked up a sense of this notion, and tend to feel insecure and therefore bad, often when they don't belong to them same religion and therefor more easily feel insecure due to lack of knowledge and also the inherent soreness, touchiness and sensitivity in all that pertains to religion.

But I think that if someone feels disrespected when others eat around him/her, because it creates trouble for him/her, then that person should seriously ask him/herself WHY he/she is actually fasting. It cannot be out of conviction at least, since then you would have no issues fasting in the middle of a food festival... or you are just very weak minded and a slave to your own mind and its chaotic whims. Such people are also often in the game of self pity and would like to be seen as martyrs.

I know this is not directly relating to the situation described by the OP, but I thought I'd share my own personal first hand experience, since it relates to the same topic.

Peace! and happy fasting!
 :)

Zulf,

You make an excellent point, and I even have asked myself this regarding looking into God Alone.  I am a new mother, and I wondered if the reason I began to scrutinize Islam so much was because I was tired from lack of sleep and then frustrated from fasting.  I wondered if I was looking for a way out of Islam...an excuse to take of my hijab and not have to pray 5 times a day.  I have come to the conclusion that it wasn't the reason...thank goodness. 

I find it quite interesting that all of this has come to pass just as Ramadan began, though...

With Peace,

Amina

Zulf

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2012, 09:59:23 AM »
Peace Amina, and all

a bit off topic, but anyhow...

The best we can do is to ask Allah to show us the truth, whatever that may be. What else should we ask for? If we are not desiring to find truth, then that means we willingly accept falsehood. But, it can be scary to see the truth. One has to be brutally honest and sincere in the search for truth. We should ask Allah to show us the truth, and let us be able to handle it. The truth is always wonderful. Even unpleasant truths are much better for us that sugar coated lies. From Allah comes truth. We should seek it no matter what. We should desire it for no other reason than that it is the truth. Often it is hard to approach some truths, because it makes our minds shiver out of fear and insecurity. But that just means we have some wrong and limiting ideas in our minds. Truth is truth, and is good. Sometimes it can feel like that our identity is threatened when we approach some ideas in the search of truth... so the mind will put up a fight to make us stop searching, at least in that direction, and instead go back to our own fantasy world... which it in all honesty is. Each mind is a world onto its own. So how brave are we? Do we dare to seek the truth, no matter what it is? Or do we just pretend to want the truth as long as it is comfortable and doesn't conflict too much with our current understanding? Are we ready to leave e.g. 5 times namaz if all would point in this direction? How strong is our fear? Fear of what? Truth comes from Allah. So fear of what? Are we ready to reconsider everything we were taught about religion? Can our minds handle that? Perhaps we can at least decide and commit to start moving towards truth, and ask Allah to show it to us, and let us be able to handle it, little by little as we grow. It is all a process. Life is a process, and unless we claim to have the knowledge of Allah, then it is natural that we don't know everything, and so there are things to learn. And unless we have the knowledge of Allah, then in reality we don't know what it is we don't know... that's the whole point. Perhaps we are mistaken in something that we put great value into. Perhaps we are mistaken in something we have ended up letting define us. Perhaps our parents were mistaken. How would we know? We can only ask Allah for help. Only Allah we ask for help. It doesn't matter what we do. But it totally matters what we intend. So we need to sincerely desire the truth. What else could be better? Wouldn't it lead to Allah? Does falsehood lead to Allah? So we should be brave enough to learn and be ready to change our outlook on life, reality and ourselves. If we are not ready to change, we will spiritually die, and we are lost, astray.
This is why I have major problems with many religious people, because they think they know it all, and they judge others, and they naturally become very arrogant, even unconsciously, while giving shine they are very humble and pious. This, in reality, means that they think that they have the knowledge of Allah. Otherwise they wouldn't judge others, and wouldn't be so much against new thoughts, growth, change, investigation, questioning etc.

Just needed to get that out of me. :D
Salaam to all!
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scaredmuslimah

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Re: One reason I dislike Ramadan
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2012, 10:37:29 AM »
Fear of what?

Zulf:

You really hit the nail on the head here, at least for me.  I very recently realized what my fear was...

That I was wrong for converting to Islam.  Actually, it is a mixture of fear and shame, because so many people warned me not to go to Islam, that is is too extreme and fundamental.  Well, they are mostly wrong.

Islam is the correct path, when practiced correctly.  What is correctly?  In my opinion, with humility and only to Allah (swt).

I unfortunately am the type of person who jumps headfirst into things without taking time to evaluate first.  I take SOME time, but not a great amount.  This time around, I am taking my time.  Studying, reading, and making sure that I truly understand what I am committing to.  I need to make sure that once I make this change, my heart is rooted into it, that way I cannot be easily swayed by any opposition. 

With Peace,

Amina