As-salamu-alaikum,
I just want to share with you my own miracle in the quran. It's a powerful testimony that God listens and answers our prayers. All we have to do it just ask him! but first, let me give you some background on myself so that you can understand where I'm coming from.
I was born in Bangladesh (bd), but my family moved to the USA when I was 8yrs old. Back in bangladesh, I was taught to read quran and pray in arabic. As a good child, I did just that. However, even in bd, I found it strange that we should follow Hadith/Sunnah despite the fact that they are not the literal words of God. This little fact was enough for me at even 8yrs old. It would bother me inside, and if I raised a question, I was told that God does not like being questioned and I would go to hell if I continued to do so. After we moved to the USA, i became even more rational, and all I could see was inequality between male and female muslims everywhere I looked. My mom would wear the hijab, and it would drive me nuts simply because I didn't understand why the same did not apply to men. From my prespective at the age of 12- why can't men just lower their gaze? we were living in the usa, it's not like hair is a "turn-on," it made sense that you should cover your chest. I felt like there were so many rules to follow and so much restriction on women, that I could never have freedom and religion at the same time. Thus, I chose freedom, and deserted religion. When my parents would ask me to pray, I would just go to my room and come out pretending like I'm actually performed salat. I felt guilty about this for a little bit, but eventually I got used to it and no longer felt anything.
When I was about 18yrs old,I decided that I wanted religion to be a part of my life cuz I felt "lost" inside. So I decided to study the quran on my own. I downloaded quran online, and I was so excited and I loved what I was reading until I hit the verse about wife-beating. I always belived that wife-beating was part of hadith, and quran would never tolerate such a thing....but there it was..I looked at several translation online..some even claming to "beat her lightly." This was unacceptable and a disgrace in my eyes. I could never follow a religion that encourages/tolerates domestic abuse. Thus, I looked no further and announed to my family what I've discovered and told them to leave me alone about Islam until I "figure it out."
In August of 2008, at the age of 21, I started medical school. My roommate is a very strong Christian and so we started to have religious conversations. She would tell me about Jesus, and I would tell her about Islam and Muhammed (pbuh). But I could never argue with her cuz I simply didn't know enough about Islam or what I did know didn't even make sense to me, so I couldn't advocate it. THIS WAS VERY FRUSTRATING. and so I asked myself, why in the world do I claim to be a muslim when I dont even really know the meaning?
A few months ago, I went to bed, and I just started crying because I knew I was so far away from God, and worst...my roommates argument of bible/jesus was getting into my head and I was afraid I would forever sever my tie with Islam and over time, I may even convert to Christianity. I wasn't really thinking about converting, but the fear was there. So I prayed, i just cried for hours and prayed that God please guide me in the right direction.
In the morning, I decided I was going to list out what bothered me about Islam the most and I would reasearch on it. I started with Hijab. So I did a google search about what the quran says about hijab....and this changed my life forever. I read an article that said quran does not even mention the word HIJAB and its actually in the hadith. Of course my childhood innate sense kicked in and said, "if it's not in the quran, you dont have to worry about it." this is all before I knew about Quran only or rashad khalifa or anything about this world. Of course I didn't forget about the wife-beating verse that made me turn back last time, so I convinced myself to re-examine it. So I kept seaching and came across submission website and my life changed forever.
For the last few months, I have been praying 5X a day and attening the mosque whenver I can find the time to do so...I have never ever done these things from my heart..or for so long at once without missing prayer because I finally found out that I am not alone..there is a ton of people who follow quran alone..and it's not based on just gut instinct, but based on evidence. Most importantly, the religion of submission is beautiful, rational, and as allah said, the intelligent would be able to follow.
Now for the miracle that has happened...
I was trying to tell my uncle (strict sunni) about quran only and the fallacy of hadith and sunnah, and he told me that I am not a "real muslim" unless I "OBEY THE MESEENGER BY FOLLOWING THE HADITH AND SUNNAH." So On friday 13th, 2009 at 6:30p.m, I went to the mosque and I prayed to Allah asking for a sign to tell me if I should follow the quran only or if my uncle had any sense in what he was saying. I wanted a sign directly from allah. I told Allah that my heart/brain was saying I need to follow quran only, but everyone around me thinks I'm crazy and I am not a real muslim. I asked him to direct me in the right path and give me a sign and I would be on the look-out for a sign. Shortly after prayer, I went with my husband to the mall and we watched a movie called "friday the 13th"....after the movie, i felt guilt for the first time cuz I didn't know there was so many inappropirate scenes in the movie..so I prayed for forgiveness in my car as my husband just watched stunned. When we got home that night, he asked me to show him "the miracle of 19."
So i went to Brother Pierre's website at
www.islamrevolution.org, and I was going through Rashad's Khalifa's findings with my husband at around midnight. All of a sudden, my husband goes, "look maryum, sura 19 has the title of your name!" It was stunning, I've read the quran so many times, and did not make this connection..my name is Maryum..Sura 19 out of 114 suras is called "Maryum." I felt like Allah was holding my hand like a mother holds a child's hand and pointing to me and saying, "yes, maryum..19 is the right path!"
Allah has answered my prayer!
