Peace
Zenje: This is the crux of the matter, she does not believe as I do. I have been very gentle in explaining to her, but she has never really shown an interest. She knows very little about her own core beliefs, just that she should do them because her brother told her to. It is a shame. Something my wife said to me a few days ago - 'Why are you so rebellious?' I explained to her that I have to rebel against something I do not agree with.
Most of my life I have not felt at satisfied with what I believed. At one point I felt that there was no point to any of this, so why believe in the Almighty? Thank the Lord to guiding me back to the path. Everything happens for a reason, I do not believe in coincidence. This situation with my wife's family is I am sure, trying to tell me something about myself. Its all about growing. To be fair, I probably haven't remembered God as much for some time. I have gone back to studying, looking for the answers, asking Him. So something good is coming of this. I am sure that He is just gently bringing me back to what I should be doing.
My wife recently has been going to more of these weekly meetings that the local dawat-e-islami mosque holds for women. She has learnt many naats and even started doing namaz five times a day. Which is great for her as it makes her feel good. Just wish she would actually HEAR what I am saying, rather than just listen to it when she asks me questions. She even said that I am like Dr Zakir Naik, able to quote verses and give references for my point of view. I have advised her that it would be good for her to read the Quran with the meaning, rather than the arabic method she knows. Counting how many ayats she has read as if that is an achievement. I so pray that she gets guided before it is too late.
My father-in-law and brother-in-law don't seem to want to meet up. The situation is that they have lit the blue touch-paper and just walked away. I feel that I must act. However, I fear a trap that they are laying. If I have God on my side and the Quran in my heart, I don't see how I could fail in defending my beliefs. I feel like just telling them to let us be. It isn't really any business of any one else's what I believe, so long as my wife wants to be with me.
My rabbit isn't any better today. Must take her to the vet tomorrow if I can get time off work. She's only 3 months old, one of a litter of 5. Will write again when I can. I feel like i'm having an OOBE whilst writing this - kinda freaky.
d