Author Topic: Adopted Child  (Read 5184 times)


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Adopted Child
« on: March 04, 2007, 12:22:08 PM »
Do you guys believe that it is possible to love an adopted child as much as you would love your own child?
67:3 He created seven universes in layers. You do not see any imperfection in the creation by the Almighty. Keep looking; do you see any flaw?
67:4 Look again twice; your eyes will come back stumped and conquered.


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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 01:40:21 PM »
Peace Sis

hmm good question. i don't know the answer to that. i haven't experienced the miracle of childbirth yet so i couldn't honestly give any opinion

would love to hear from others who do have children of their own how they feel about the q.

it might be interesting to see if the actual physical birth of a child makes a difference.


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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2007, 04:22:12 PM »
Personally I think it might vary from person to person. Some might and some might not. Other factors would come into play as well, like how old was the child when he was adopted, was it a case of remarriage and subsequent adoption of a spouse's children with the biological parent still alive and interacting, levels of such interaction, if the biological parent is no more, does one feel resentment towards them for some reason, does the child often bring up his resentment towards the foster parent/s at being adopted thus creating feelings of mistrust and unhappiness etc. Many variables, but it can happen in some situations that the foster parent, regardless of less than ideal circumstances, might love the child equally.

There is no reliable way to gauge this though imo, because even in multiple biological children, some parents might prefer one over the other, even if they say they love them all the same.
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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2007, 04:31:07 PM »
I think it is. I see no reason why it would be.
Remember Wilson from Cast Away? We can develop an attachment to anyone and anything.
I have toys that I love. Not because I gave birth to them, but because of the experiences we've shared together.
We all have friends and spouses that we love, again, not because we gave birth to them, but because of the experiences we've had with them.
There are parents who don't love their own biological offsprings.
So love and attachment has nothing to do with biological connections.
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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2007, 03:27:22 PM »

I do think it's possible to love an adopted child as your own.

Look to that famous couple the actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (Brangelina) they have adopted 3 kids and they have one biological child together.

I think it's a good cause to help orphans or unwanted kids like this.


Neaality Gandhi

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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2010, 12:45:39 PM »
Salaam, yes it is possible!  :group:


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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2011, 12:50:02 AM »
Hey guys^_^ Just thought I'd put my two cents in in case someone comes across this, even though its been almost a year since anything was posted.

It is completely possible to love adopted children just like your biological children. My family would know- my father was adopted, *I* was adopted and I will be adopting children too someday soon, inshallah. A cousin of mine was also adopted.

Savage_carrot is right ,in that some kids (especially those who have gone through foster care) may have emotional and behavioral issues. Its normal. You'd be a little 'messed up' too if you spent your childhood going from house to house with no real parents or even worse, parents who had drug, alcohol etc. issues. That doesn't make them any less deserving of love. All they want is to put up a fight to see if you are really the one, the family that loves them enough to care and be someone that they can trust. Its a very hard life. I got lucky in that I was adopted as an infant and didn't have to go through this. But even for infants ,its not that easy.

My birthmother smoke ,drank and probably did drugs while she was pregnant with me. I was the second child that she had given up for adoption.
 I was born premature, just under two pounds (so small I had to wear babydoll clothing and could fit in the palm in my Dad's hand) and had a level three brain hemorrhage. They weren't sure if I was going to make it and even if I did, they thought I might have developmental issues, mentally and physically. My Dad likes to tell the story of when the hospital called to tell them all of this and my Mom immediately said that they needed to go see me NOW b/c she needed to make sure I was ok. She wouldn't of cared if I had been developmentally challenged and wheelchair bound for life, even though she wasn't yet my legal mother and had never even seen me, she already loved me like I was her own. She was ready to go through Hell and back in order to reach me.  Mom had 2 biological kids( my bratty little sisters ^_^) a few years after they adopted me ,even though the doctors had pretty much given up hope.

Alhamdulillah, I was fine and never had any issues in the end. I actually ended up being tall for a girl (5'9) and I've excelled in school consistently. My sisters all did well too and have grown up to be quite the young ladies. Though they did occasionally bring out the "Well you're not our real sister!" bit as kids when they were angry with me, we couldn't be any closer now that we've all grown up a bit.We're very different personality-wise but aside from that, you'd never be able to tell we aren't biologically related.^_^
I'm 22 now and my husband and I are going to adopt, since we are having trouble having kids. I have been so blessed by Allah to have such a wonderful family who DOES love me as much as the rest and it has NEVER ONCE entered my mind that I would love my adopted kids any less than biological ones.
Biological kids are great and it is perfectly natural to want kids of your own but, if you can't, then PLEASE consider adopting a child ,either an infant or one already in foster care.
There are so many kids out there who need families, real ones. Not just a roof over their head and 3 meals a day (although there are plenty who would love you forever JUST for that) but someone who accepts them and loves them for who they are, despite the challenges.

I HATE the people who actively discourage adoption in the mainstream Islamic community (sunnis mostly). "Oh their families should care for them,blahblahblahblah." Guess what, thats not gonna happen. Their parents are dead, run off, on drugs, they abuse them or w/e. They NEED your help and not only that, I would go so far as to say that it is a Muslims duty to help care for the disadvantaged in their community, ESPECIALLY the children. What happened to charity and caring for the orphans? WHY are people so quick to forget when it doesn't suit their interests.

Please don't avoid adopting b/c you're afraid you won't be able to love the child like your own. Give them a chance to grow up in a good stable home with Believing parents who love and care for them. There is no greater gift that you can give one of these kids. I thank Allah every day that my birthmother was smart enough to give me up and that my Mom and Dad chose to adopt me instead of choosing a kid with less issues. If you're considering adoption, I would LOVE to talk with you about it and tell you what its like growing up as an adopted kid. Just send me a message.^_^


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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2011, 12:52:31 PM »
Greetings and peace, all  :group:

Do you guys believe that it is possible to love an adopted child as much as you would love your own child?

Yes. My oldest child is an adopted stepchild; I love her the same as my biological child...I consider them both to be my "own" children.

I remember a march in Washington DC in 2004, and a pro-life counter-protester was screaming at a pro-choice marcher to not abort children, but adopt. The marcher retorted: "How many children have YOU adopted?" 8)




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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2011, 02:43:31 PM »

Thanks for sharing, Shinobitora. Sad story :'( but it's great that you have a loving family now. I totally agree with you. There probably wouldn't be any children with no families if every able person/ couple adopted. I want to adopt one day, God willing. It's such a wonderful thing to give a loving home to a child who doesn't have one.

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Re: Adopted Child
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2018, 10:53:32 AM »