Often it seems that the alarm bells - feelings of guilt, uncertainty about yourself and your future, anxiety - are temporary. It becomes tough to recognize the illness yourself at some points, and it is dangerous for yourself and others to struggle with it without help and support. It is important to go to a specialist. Psychotherapist, or better directly to a psychiatrist. He will find you an individual treatment regimen. The main thing is not to blame yourself and do not deny the disease. This is not your weakness. This is a disease that must be treated. Ask for support from friends and acquaintances, who do not need to prove or explain anything. I recommend you to read the book Brain dump journal, which will direct you to the proper path.