The Humour Thread :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

[HP_TECH]

This is addressed to you. Yes, You. You, the person reading this (Hansolo, Zulf, Man of Faith, Abdun Nur, Jafar, add every other troll, agent, narcissist ....etc).

If,
One day you find yourself walking alone, down a dark secluded alley.
Very Dark. So very dark and secluded you begin to ask yourself why the heck you ever turned in there.
Then you begin to feel apprehensive as if someone is behind you or watching you.
So you do the cliche thing.
You take a look behind you to the right.
Then you quickly swing your neck to the left to look on the other side.
As you instantaneously feel slightly relieved that nothing was behind you...
..Bam! Some random dude appears to walk right towards you.
You almost soil your undergarment from the shock.
You feel slightly relieved there is another person in this dark secluded alley.
Suddenly you take a look at the man's unique and unknown features.
Your heart sinks.... Something about the man walking up to you is just abnormal.
Not to mention he is looking dead at you. Through YOU.
You do the other cliche thing and move to the far side of the alley way to leave enough room for this strange fellow to pass by,
The man covered in shadows does not even flinch and moves spontaneously to the same side you're on.
You panic and freeze, you turn your hip to move to the other side.
No. It is too late he is right at you.
He is so close you can see his piercing bright eyes.
So bright so strange so dazzling....

Smaaaaack!

The random dude slaps the s*** outta you!
It's that kind of smack that reverberates through your eardrum
You essentially go deaf in your ear and hold on to the side of your face
You are overtaken by shock, fear and anger
You are stunned by the overwhelming wallop
You start thinking:
Who the heck is this random dude?!
Why the heck did he slap the stupid out my face?
Most importantly where the heck did he go?

So if some random dude walks up to you and slaps the s*** outta you, I take all satisfaction in letting you know...

It was me.

Well... a manifestation born of my ardent desire and the manifest necessity for you to get a reality check.


Stop talking nonsense, spreading nonsense and disinformation.


And remember to walk straight and never look over your shoulder....

[imrankhawaja]

awww thanks God my name is not there 

dude you already make me scared

[parvez mushtaq]

  why you want to slap them

[عوني]

Ramadan humour : https://twitter.com/msalimkassam/status/1127338457523785729

[jkhan]

Administrators.....

Don't you have any sort of control over unnecessary matters...

[good logic]

Where is the humour gone?

God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. That is what happens when you avoid asking the way.

Prayer: Don't give God instructions — just report for duty!

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Deja Vu – When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because decided to rewind it

The weird mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given

Give someone  a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
,
Photons are catholics, they have mass!

And some conversation with my grandson Alexander:
1-
Grandpa, Do You Know Noah a bit better  from this lesson I just taught you?
Grandson (staring at me ): Grandpa, were you on the ark when the Flood came?
Grandpa: No, certainly not.
Grandson: Well, then, why weren't you drowned?
2-
I had been teaching my five-year-old Alexander the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, He would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, he decided to go solo. I listened with pride as he carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," he prayed, "but deliver us some e-email. Amen."
Lastly.
Me; Adam was the first in the hunman race.
Alexander: He must have been a very quick runner.
GOD bless you all.
Peace.

[kninjahman]

So you wanna hear a COVID-19 joke?

...you probably won't get it....

[good logic]

This thread  is the best thread.

Less and less people are buying into religion.
Prophets are down.

A priest, a holy roller and a rabbi have a contest to convert a bear to their religion
The rabbi tries first. The priest and holy roller end up visiting him in the hospital.
The priest says "Maybe you shouldn't have *begun* with circumcision."

ISIS Islam is indeed a religion of peace.
A "peace" of you here, a "peace" of you there and a "peace" everywhere.

You know what they say about mathematics and religion..
Sin-ning- can- cos(t)


So I went to a mixed religion seminar...
The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

The Mullah came, took my hands and said, "Insha Allah, you will walk today!"

I snapped at him, "There's nothing wrong with me"

The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, "By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"

I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

GOD bless you all.
Peace.