'Muslim Women Can Marry Peaceful Non-Muslim Men'

[Sarah]

Peace

So there's this article I read on a Qur'an alone website titled 'Muslim Women Can Marry Peaceful Non-Muslim Men':

https://www.ahl-alquran.com/arabic/show_article.php?main_id=14595


Could he be right? Maybe the Qur'an was referring to 'aggressive mushriks' who were at war with Muslims?

[good logic]

Happy new year sister Sarah.
The article is mot saying any thing wrong . However, marriage is a contract between the couple involved first and foremost.

According to many religions , Adam and Eve started the process of family/marriage. How was the criteria established? Which creed each of them belonged to? What character each of them were? Which religion did they practice?...etc Their own instinct and own judgement was the cause in all probabilities.
They saw each other, liked each other fell in love-most likely- then got married.
I like those imposing their criteria of marriage  for others to reflect and think why?

Nowadays, things are completely different. Meetings of couples are varied  through all sorts of channels . What has the criteria been pushed towards?
I see individuals choosing partners using their own judgements/instinct/... Parental/family or tribe control of marriage is becoming a thing of the past for the majority.
My view is that if a couple meet ,like each other, assess their own situation,find out as much as they can about each other...etc Then nature  and instinct will take over if they love one another and decide to marry  It is up to them to agree their contract and we should respect their decision to marry each other regardless of race, religion or sect or whatever anyone thinks . It is up to the two individuals only. Nobody has the right to live/dictate someone else s life.

Of course, in my opinion also,it is better if they both become /are believers and choose to follow GOD s laws/instructions in their life . . If not each one of them have their own freedom to choose their own beliefs.

And talking about marriage, here are some gems:

1-For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If She Stayed In Italy To Raise The Child, He Would Also Provide Child Support Until The Child Turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey', she said, 'you received a very strange post card today'.

'Oh, really? Let me see...', he said. The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.'

2-One spelling mistake can destroy a marriage, a husband sent a text to his wife reading
"I'm having a wonderful time, I wish you was her."

3-Son asks dad "how much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "i don't know son I'm still paying for it"

4-Marriage is a three-ring circus.
\- engagement ring
\- wedding ring
\- suffe ring

5-Advice:
100% of divorces started with marriage. Can't say I didn't warn you.
GOD bless you sister.
Peace.

[Fusion]

Peace

So there's this article I read on a Qur'an alone website titled 'Muslim Women Can Marry Peaceful Non-Muslim Men':

https://www.ahl-alquran.com/arabic/show_article.php?main_id=14595


Could he be right? Maybe the Qur'an was referring to 'aggressive mushriks' who were at war with Muslims?

Quran 2:21
The ideal social system which you wish to establish should begin with your family life. Here, the fundamental question is what should be the criterion for the selection of spouse. The criterion should be unanimity of ideology and purpose. It follows from this that a Momin man should not marry a Mushrik woman until she accepts Islam. A Muslim woman who is a slave [*3] is better than a free Mushrik woman no matter how pleasing she is. Likewise, Muslim women should not marry Mushrik men until they accept Islam. A Muslim man who is a slave[*4] is better than a free Mushrik man, regardless of how pleasing he is. It is evident that marriage between persons of differing ideologies makes family life a veritable hell. On the other hand, marriage between spouses with a similar ideology creates a paradise-like family life. Such Laws of Allah bestow on you a happy-home life and protect you from the various unpleasant things. You should keep this Law of Allah in mind while deciding such matters.

*3/4
The Quranic references to slaves relate to those men and women who were in bondage in Arab society at the beginning of Islam. The Quran abolished the source of slavery (47/4) and gave instructions for the gradual liberation of slaves who were already there, or their absorption into Muslim society.

So the issue here is the definition of Mushrik [not about hard or soft or fights with Muslims. Its the belief of a person which has certified Mushriq Aqaid]

[Euphoric]

5:5 is a commonly mistranslated and misinterpreted.

5:5 does NOT say:
"...And the food of the People of the Book is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them..."

5:5 actually said: "...given the book/owtul kitaab..." not "people of the book/ahlul kitab"

There is a difference between those "given the book" from "people of the book"

[jkhan]

Peace

So there's this article I read on a Qur'an alone website titled 'Muslim Women Can Marry Peaceful Non-Muslim Men':

https://www.ahl-alquran.com/arabic/show_article.php?main_id=14595


Could he be right? Maybe the Qur'an was referring to 'aggressive mushriks' who were at war with Muslims?

Peace everyone...

I don't think so... As my researches I think believer should always obey the law of God.. Law if God is clear in Quran...
True believer always should look for believers... When it comes to marriage a believing women should always look for a believing chaste man and a believing man should look for chaste believing woman... That makes sense if they are really believers... Yes marriage is personal life but not in the light of Quran it is not personal, but I has law.. So true believers have to abide by it... What is gone is gone.. But knowingly a believer (men or women)  should not marry disbelievers... We cannot deny the verses of God for the sake of our life or rather marriage life.. Consequences are horrible... Yes people are good... We are human.. And show himanity... But for whatever reason God has preferred believing that's partner for another believer...
God only knows why... Yes people do live peacefully by marrying of different faith... But God has a law.. Forbidden or not I am not 100% sure but d has instructed to go for believers..

[hawk99]

Peace Sarah,

"Kind with kind" in other words look for a mate, a match= less arguments, same references (Quran) same community, same food, same holidays, Glorify the lord together.

God bless you

                                                                         

[good logic]

A hard question for us to identify:
What is a believer?
1-Someone who says "I am a believer"?
2- Someone who   belongs to a certain religion/sect?
3- Someone who believes GOD exist?
4-...believes what?...
Even when we live with someone 24 hours a day, we cannot know for sure. We can only know to a certain degree according to our knowledge of the person.
It is impossible to know the true conviction and innermost thoughts/intentions of even close friends and family.

I honestly cannot say about myself  that I am a true believer. Yes  good logic , even though knows himself better than any other human, cannot say that he is 100% believer. i.e Believes in GOD, follows GOD s laws/instructions 100%,has the best behaviour/works,...etc. One can only try! Yes one may end up exactly the opposite, this is something to always be wary of., like one can become a better believer from  an opposite side.

GOD addresses many different believers in Qoran. Those that believe but commit idol worship, those that do not believe in GOD and His message with total conviction, those who believe in the messenger and undermine GOD, those who make others feel secure- has nothing to do with GOD-,those...etc like for example:

"Oh you who believe, believe in GOD and His messenger..."  Or:
Those who believe, the Jews, the Christians, ... If they believe in GOD ,  accountability and do good they have ..."

Not so easy to find a believer . Like brother hawk says, try to find a kind person that cares for you and you care for them first. Then trust in GOD to guide you both. if you believe.
GOD bless you all.
Peace.

[jkhan]

A hard question for us to identify:
What is a believer?
1-Someone who says "I am a believer"?
2- Someone who   belongs to a certain religion/sect?
3- Someone who believes GOD exist?
4-...believes what?...
Even when we live with someone 24 hours a day, we cannot know for sure. We can only know to a certain degree according to our knowledge of the person.
It is impossible to know the true conviction and innermost thoughts/intentions of even close friends and family.

I honestly cannot say about myself  that I am a true believer. Yes  good logic , even though knows himself better than any other human, cannot say that he is 100% believer. i.e Believes in GOD, follows GOD s laws/instructions 100%,has the best behaviour/works,...etc. One can only try! Yes one may end up exactly the opposite, this is something to always be wary of., like one can become a better believer from  an opposite side.

GOD addresses many different believers in Qoran. Those that believe but commit idol worship, those that do not believe in GOD and His message with total conviction, those who believe in the messenger and undermine GOD, those who make others feel secure- has nothing to do with GOD-,those...etc like for example:

"Oh you who believe, believe in GOD and His messenger..."  Or:
Those who believe, the Jews, the Christians, ... If they believe in GOD ,  accountability and do good they have ..."

Not so easy to find a believer . Like brother hawk says, try to find a kind person that cares for you and you care for them first. Then trust in GOD to guide you both. if you believe.
GOD bless you all.
Peace.

Peace...
I don't agree with you brother...

Of could have said easily marry anyone regardless of faith of they are good people.. But God always said marry believers and exception for ma  malakat aymanakum.. For the.  God used only believers skipped saliheen.. So God wants believers to marry righteous believers...

It may be hard to find a good believer.. But we don't need to judge their destiny... Anyone who wishes to marry they always  look for everything of a person who they gonna accept as partber.. And they get to know... All one need to know is whether the partber is monotheist belovea IN One God.. Rest is up each other.. How good he or she is... If they deceive then their is no fault on  the true believer who opted to marry the other... Co he or she chosed a believer with his or her consent...
Real Belover and one who believes in One God is huge different... One who believes in One God is a Muslim (surrender)  but a real believer is a one who practices all what he can as a muslim... So for marriage you don't need to find a real believer but one who believes is enough if you wish.. If you want a salih righteous belover then you definitely  need to spend time to know...
But it is not difficult to identify mushrik who associats...  I think we discussed this topic befire also... Anyway... Hard part is to identify a Munafiq before marriage.. He believes in God for sure... But he is not believer... He is Munafiq but believes in God..
So Sara.. If you find anyone ask him whether he believes in One God or he has any other dogma.. All you need is his statement... If you need bit more character certificate then test him... Worth testing a life partber... Isn't it.. But you not deny God by marrying someone who says he believes in One God... That's it...

[good logic]

Peace jkhan .
I ,on the other hand, agree with you as well.
If I am saying marry one  who is kind and cares for you , I am not restricting the choice.
Of course if the couple disagree on what is the most important thing for them  , then they will have issues before they decide to marry.

I also said that if they are both believers and trust in GOD alone, then it is a better and  more secure relationship.
Remember also that "believer" can also mean one who cares, gives you security, gives peace and security to all peaceful people.
GOD bless you brother.
Peace.

[Fusion]

Despite all these conditions, still believer couple do get lot of divorces as well which has nothing to do with both of them having same beliefs.
Marriage is a very complicated system. it can be simple only if you want to make it else let alone it will have its issues over the years.

Most of the folks in practise look for other attributes like wealth, fame, social status, beauty, religious beliefs are not any more relevant.


We can talk about all day but at the end the most important aspect for couple to marry is Love which can not be defined by any statement. It just comes out of no where and consume the lovers.

[jkhan]

Despite all these conditions, still believer couple do get lot of divorces as well which has nothing to do with both of them having same beliefs.
Marriage is a very complicated system. it can be simple only if you want to make it else let alone it will have its issues over the years.

Most of the folks in practise look for other attributes like wealth, fame, social status, beauty, religious beliefs are not any more relevant.


We can talk about all day but at the end the most important aspect for couple to marry is Love which can not be defined by any statement. It just comes out of no where and consume the lovers.

Yes.. Fusion
That's world life...
Successful marriage life and those who allowed or recommended to marry are two matters...
Even serious believer as end up in bad marriage life evwn with a good believer..
For example.. nonbiologoalson of Mohamed ie  Zaid.. He divorced his wife.. He was a good person a believer.. And definitely his wife would have been a believer otherwise they won't marry as per conditions.. On top of that prophet won't marry Zaid's ex-wife unless she was a believer.. Believer to believer doesn't mean marriage life would last.. Even Allah warned all wives of Mohamed that He would replace them all with others...so life and love is different to believing person... God's preference is believer to believer... Love can even happen with non believer ..even may fall in love with even while one have a legal wife with another woman.. Love is not marriage..
Marriage is unique and it gives right to a person over each other.. Why Allah allowed divorce foe believers... It is not easy a successful life together.. A believing couple may fail in marriage life while a mushfiq couple may succeed beyond expectations in marriage life.. So life is different matter to what God's law... 
God never said marry a mushrik if she is good and if you fall in love.. God clearly stated marrybthose who believe... That's worthy following.. Even to parents of those who expect marry God says don't give your children to.... So...  If life is so important than God's  law it is absolutely fine to take it.. We never know what God's judgment for disobeying his instructions... Anyway everyone get their partner somehow... And if they not intended to violate God's law while marry and if they remain believers in life time.. God is the forgiver who deserves..

2:221 And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

[Jafar]

islam is an attitude and those who possess such attitude within his/her character are called muslims.
Thus it's not a member or non member of the religion named Islam.

I would recommend on not to marry person with narcissistic, ego-centricity, self-centered, prideful personality.
And that includes person who think that their religion (or other form of identities such as ethnicity, race, tribe, nationality, organization, gender etc..) is superior compared to others.

Having said that, I've observed a pattern where empath (those with opposite trait as narcissist) tends to gravitate and sympathize towards narcissist. And vice-versa. I guess it's true what they say that "opposite attract each others".

[Emre_1974tr]

It is strictly forbidden/haraam to be married with someone who is in shirk.

For example, it is also forbidden to marry a Sufi who worships the universe and nature.

[Nomar]

I agree with you that it is difficult to find believers until you have interacted and/or lived with them. However, it would be easier to spot the disbelievers and the hypocrites because they outwardly manifest what The God prohibits like eating pork, showing the chest and making evident the private parts, believing in more than one god, and believing in hadiths, among others. So if we can avoid the disbelievers and the hypocrites, 50% of the efforts in finding a believing spouse is done. I will leave the other 50% to The God through patience and as-salah.

A hard question for us to identify:
What is a believer?
1-Someone who says "I am a believer"?
2- Someone who   belongs to a certain religion/sect?
3- Someone who believes GOD exist?
4-...believes what?...
Even when we live with someone 24 hours a day, we cannot know for sure. We can only know to a certain degree according to our knowledge of the person.
It is impossible to know the true conviction and innermost thoughts/intentions of even close friends and family.

I honestly cannot say about myself  that I am a true believer. Yes  good logic , even though knows himself better than any other human, cannot say that he is 100% believer. i.e Believes in GOD, follows GOD s laws/instructions 100%,has the best behaviour/works,...etc. One can only try! Yes one may end up exactly the opposite, this is something to always be wary of., like one can become a better believer from  an opposite side.

GOD addresses many different believers in Qoran. Those that believe but commit idol worship, those that do not believe in GOD and His message with total conviction, those who believe in the messenger and undermine GOD, those who make others feel secure- has nothing to do with GOD-,those...etc like for example:

"Oh you who believe, believe in GOD and His messenger..."  Or:
Those who believe, the Jews, the Christians, ... If they believe in GOD ,  accountability and do good they have ..."

Not so easy to find a believer . Like brother hawk says, try to find a kind person that cares for you and you care for them first. Then trust in GOD to guide you both. if you believe.
GOD bless you all.
Peace.