Late talkers

[BabyThespy]

Peace Aly-Sam,

I work in a day care, and have gone to training courses. One of those training classes taught that learning multiple languages at an early age is actually great for children in the long run. It has been proven that children who learn multiple languages at a young age tend to better in school and have better social skills. Also, there is no definitive age at which a child should speak. I mainly work with children between the ages of infancy to 3-4 years old. I have seen 9 month olds speak when there are some 4 year olds piecing together severely broken sentences. It varies dramatically from child to child. I don't really think that you have anything to worry about. But, just the same, let us all know what the doctor says at her check-up.

[aly-sam]

I went to the doctors yesterday. He was of the opinion that she can talk but she does not want to...probly due to the fact that she gets too much attention and gets away with just pointing etc. I was told to be firm and if she points to something she wants, I have to say "ball" or whatever the object is and keep saying it until she too says it. If she does not say the word, then I dont give her the ball & walk away from it. If after a month she does not add to her vocab then we may visit a speech therapist.

I thought that was a bit harsh. If anything, I give her less attention than I should...rather than more. I really do feel that it is little early to judge conclusively and she's just late like many of you have mentioned, but what the doc said lingers on and disturbs me. Perhaps I am in denial that we may have a problem.

I do think I need a second opinion.

Farrah how did they do the evaluation?

BabyThespy, for the slow talkers, do you have any special training for them? Or do you leave them to eventually find their own way to blend with the other kids?

[savage_carrot]

My younger brother started talking when he was 4 years old or thereabouts. We were all concerned that there was a problem, he'd just make sounds or point till then. Most of the times he was silent, but after that point he started talking like there's no tomorrow, just like that (and he still does). I'd be concerned after 4 years, especially since I have an example of someone in my family who did just this. 

[Samia]

but after that point he started talking like there's no tomorrow,

Reminds me of my son who did not speak past two years , and when he did, he had so many questions that I was longing for the "quiet" old days. My sister once was observing an episode of a stream of questions and answers between my son and me, and commented: "Well, I do not think you're going to have much trouble with the "Grave questioning"!!

[savage_carrot]

Hehe yeah that sounds like my brother alright. He just loves to talk even when one is trying to evade (he probably thinks it's encouragement) using words like hmm, yes, no, maybe etc. Once all I did was use those words during a two hour long session and he was still at it! That takes skill.

[BabyThespy]

BabyThespy, for the slow talkers, do you have any special training for them? Or do you leave them to eventually find their own way to blend with the other kids?

What we do is exactly what the doctor told you. It has worked with most of the kids that I have done it with. They tend to just throw fits at first b/c they always get away with just pointing to what they want at home. Eventually, they come to realize that they can't get away with it with me. I would say that you should just try what the doctor told you to do and see how it goes. And remember, don't give in to her if she throws a fit; you need to be more stubborn than her.

[aly-sam]

Update:

She is kind of talking now!!! Her vocab has increased from 20 to **aaargh! you giving me a headache already!** She is not forming sentences, but words are just sliding out of her mouth. I now see that she had been taking in so much information. She counts upto 20, knows 6-7 colours, all the days of the week. She can describe hot warm wet etc. She manages to communicate and remember what I have taught her. She reads books with me and completes sentences. All this progress in 3-4 weeks. Amazing.

I tried the hard-line approach at the time...but after tears tempers and tantrums (and these were only from my side), I soon gave up. She remained firm and steadfast in her "I will not talk mode" and was not interested in the object if I refused. But now she has come to the stage where if she does not vocalise her requirements and I withhold them, she does make an effort to say the words.

I took her for 4 sessions of speech therapy. Her hearing was fine...but she did not show any interest in the speech therapy and although was happy to go there, did not utter a word. But the therapist did tell me that the hard line approach would not have worked for her as she was not at that level of comprehension. She gave me a fine example. Suddenly she started talking some kind of chinese language to me and I was bewildered...and then she said to me "Say say what i said" and kept insisting. It took a few seconds to register that she was trying to show me what my daughter felt...but in those few seconds, I felt a sinking of my heart. That was enough for me! I followed my daughter's pace and let her lead me to when she felt comfortable.

Now I think she has started off its a matter of time before she constructs sentences. But that frustration I used to see in her eyes has gone.

[SarahY]

I don?t think you should worry about it too much, though you could always see a speech therapist.

Do you communicate with her? Using language or just give her what she wants? It?s important that you verbally communicate with her as well as using non verbal cues like gestures and facial expressions.

Most parents have misconceptions that multilingualism is a big problem, or that children get confused, but it isn?t the case. Studies actually show children who are bilingual are cognitively/academically more advanced than monolingual children.

You say she can make the sound of animals. She vocalises sounds and knows a few words so maybe she needs them to be identified for her.

Children?s receptive language (understanding what you say) is developed way before they actually verbally express the language themselves, that?s normal.

As far as I know being a late walker has no connection with language, a child will fulfil each milestone at their own pace, when they feel it is right. It doesn?t necessarily mean something is wrong with them.

I think maybe you should spend time with her in language rich experiences, listen to music, puppet play, read stories to her and point to pictures, e.g. the dog said ?woof woof? and point to the dog and say dog. Then ask her where?s dog? And let her point to it and correct her if she is wrong, and say dog. Repetition is the key thing, even though it might be boring for you, children at that age kinda need it, and actually like it. She?s only 2 or turning 2 so her language is going to be 1-2 word sentences so don?t have your expectations too high. Keep in mind your language with her, keep it basic and simple.

You said she says ?eehh ehh? ask her ?what do you want?? if she points at something label it, so she can identify it. And encourage her to use the words she knows, what does she know? If you give her a toy/food or item encourage her to say thank you, or please or well I don?t know what she knows, but try encourage the use of the words she already knows.

Ahh I just realised the issue is sorted, alhamdulilah.

Well now you got nothing to worry about inshallah enjoy these precious moments, they?re great memories, even when they?re annoying 

[Alen]

Salaams,
Perhaps someone can give me advice based on their experiences...
My daughter is turning 2 and she still does not talk...her vocabulary consists of less than 10 words, in fact she used to say couple more words about 3-4 months ago. She communicates by pointing and saying lot of eeh eehs. Its frustrating for her and us. I have figured out a lot of things she asks for but of course not everything. Otherwise she understands everything we tell or ask her...in 3-4 languages. Perhaps multi-lingual is the problem? Also, she was late walker. And also I have separated from my husband and I know all this has an effect. I am due to see her doc for her 2 year check-up but any practical advice would help.

Peace,
Respectfully.

Just have a conversation with your child and just talk about....whatever, that way, God willing, she will try, God willing, to copy the words and try to imitate you. She can't copy your words, if you are tlaking to fast or if you are talking ten feet away from her.
Speak to her and come up close and personal, to her face, ask her questions, offer answers, it doesn't matter what, just establish a dialogue. Thatway, God willing, she will listen to words and copy them, God willing.

Also, pray to God and ask Him for help.
Glory be to our God.
Peace.

[aly-sam]

Another update...

She has been diagnosed as having a problem with her co-ordination centre due to either damaged brain cells or unformed nerve endings. So its not just speech ...although she has sky-rocketed in her speech progress...but her Gross motor and fine motor skills are not upto her age level. I have been taking her for occupational therapy and have seen some progress. She has problems jumping (becomes stiff when landing) cannot cycle and even running she looks unstable and un-coordinated (although she does not fall). Oh I do hope she will be able to fit in with kids her age...she is such a happy enthusiastic child. She really looks longingly at other kids jumping on the bouncing castle and although she can join them, she is not confident enough and needs to hold onto something and jump.

Yes Alen...Patience and persevearance is the key.

Thank you all...please pray for her.