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Messages - SarahY

#1
Salaam all.

Forum and website upgrade may begin shortly and may result in downtime of 24-48hours.

Probably in next few days.

#2
Women's Issues / Re: Lookism and the workplace
October 04, 2023, 04:13:28 PM
Peace.

Discrimination exists and people have many biases. You can't change how people think. Only you can work on YOU. Ultimately you should do your job and regardless of how you look if you do good it will be beneficial and people will see that (and sometimes they won't!).

We live in a world with so many issues, one isn't to compete with "shallowness" inevitably your actions are what matters. Be sensible. There will always be someone better, smarter, more attractive etc and there will always be the opposite.

#3
Women's Issues / Re: Living in wife's house...
June 19, 2023, 04:33:09 PM
I think I understand the gist of what you are saying but I don't agree with your interpretation.

You can divorce in your fifties.

Read 65:4 it can be directed to many age groups.

People can drastically change and grow apart. It's up to 2 individuals to work things out and cooperate and commit to the relationship and people's growth/divergence.   

Every culture has practises and traditions. People are free to do as they wish so long as they don't violate the commands. When you observe injustices, you learn to be just for yourself, and you learn what you value and what you should or feel you should uphold. We can compare the practises of cultures all day long, ultimately adults need to make sound choices of what they decide to uphold with or without cultural pressures and the consequences of such. Not always easy.

Doing good even if you are barred from the pleasures/joys does not make the good deed nullified. That's just the ego talking. We're human so totally natural we want to give and enjoy but custody isn't clear cut, it seems like an extrapolation. 
#4
Women's Issues / Re: Living in wife's house...
June 18, 2023, 05:04:30 PM
Salam,

Some thoughts.

1. There is no verse stating that you cannot, Some things are left open, do you not ponder about this? 4:12 you can inherit what your wife leaves after passing, if she doesn't have children or a will. Personally wouldn't want a man depending on me financially others may not mind.

2. Baby belongs to no-one but is both parent's responsibility to look after, children are a trial 63:15. Read surah luqman, read 17:31, wills should be written and include family.

Breastfeeding is commendable and basically a quranic right of every infant. Quran 2:233 calls on fathers to sponsor the mother in the first 2 years by providing their needs and clothing within their means, although it allows for earlier weaning of the child by mutual consent of both mother and father.  The same verse allows breastfeeding to be substituted by wet nursing and that the father should be generous towards to wet nurse.

Men can't breastfeed so women in this regard are doing men a favour by providing for their babies without their (men) financial powers.

3. It's the husband's role to provide yes. Doesn't mean he'd do a good job and doesn't mean the wife can supplement.

4. Mahr differs from culture to culture, person to person. It is purely a gift, can you find any reason? it shows commitment.

You could argue men have a bigger financial responsibility.

#5
Peace and blessings of God be upon you too,

Welcome to the forum
#6
Depending on which region in the world you live, the hours of fast can vary drastically and the way which "to night" is interpreted can vary.

Of course, everyone wants to get it right so naturally people can be fastidious. Ultimately, I think intention plays an important part.

I remember spending time in the northern hemisphere and I did a fast during summer. If I was to break my fast in pitch black darkness, every fast would have been broken after 11pm with a few hours before the next fast to begin. Living with little responsibilities was doable, not exactly enjoyable but could do... Factor in someone who has a family, or a high demanding job or more responsibilities, things just get more complicated.

I believe God to be compassionate.

Another thing to consider is in verse 2:187 along the lines of, eat and drink until you see the white line against the blackness of night. So you can see the first light of dawn and that's the start of the fast. If the opposite is applied at night, the naked eye can still see some light when the sun has set.. in twilight, even in dusk (depending again where in the world you are), it's still night.
#7
Hi,

Have you managed to get on without shampooing?
#8
Wailaikum Asalam,

I don't see your argument as strong. When you pray you're praying to God so you are talking to God.

When you want to supplicate or ask God for something, sure you can use duas that are in the Quran that others have used however your situation is unique to you. So you may say something "different" to the given Quranic examples... Doesn't make it wrong.

Do what you're comfortable with however saying "auzubillahi minashaitan nirajeem" or "astaghfirullah" is not wrong or bad nor directed explicitly as such in the Quran (AFAIK). The meaning of the words are good, why would you encourage others not to say it? Seems odd.

Being unmindful of our words and actions is more worrisome.

#9
Off-Topic / Re: Fundraiser to prevent homelessness
February 20, 2022, 05:39:43 AM
Sis it all depends on what field you're willing to work in. Many organisations will take on apprenticeships to encourage experience and learning. Some will also offer training after a probation period.. many will take on inexperienced workers because they need numbers, think call centres or shop assistants.

Many will hire those who volunteer in the field – think social work, teacher assistant, childcare worker jobs, charity organisations, receptionist jobs. Volunteering with a reputable organisation is a good way to gain experience, get a good reference and potentially get a job within. Otherwise it's a way to network and make friends while looking for work outside.

With interview feedback if they say they want more experience, ask "will you be willing to give me a chance and gain experience with your organisation?". You need to fight for yourself in a competitive market.
#10
Off-Topic / Re: Fundraiser to prevent homelessness
February 19, 2022, 02:43:21 PM
No prob sis,

Also if other family members are on benefits you should maybe look into council housing and apply for it, might be a long waiting list depending on where you live but worth looking into, see the link: https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-council-housing and https://www.gov.uk/council-housing

Experience isn't everything, lots of organisations prefer less experienced because their wages will be lower. So keep a look out. Inshallah you'll find something.

P.S Amra check if the fee is compulsory or not, it was only recommended on my end and could use paypal to transfer funds.