Author Topic: Difference in partners life style  (Read 136 times)

Xtionfuse

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Difference in partners life style
« on: September 03, 2021, 07:30:43 PM »
I've been brought up in Sunni Muslim family in India and we were thought music is haram. My mother and sistes always kept hijab. I got married to "modern Muslim" girl. She's all any man can ask for, talented , loving, caring, amazing cook, funny any man can ask for alhamdullilah.

However there a few things I can't accept, she's least even interested in islam, and she keeps dancing to music all day long, and dresses are not moderate for a muslim. I don't mind it sometimes, but my home doesn't seem like a muslim . I tried explaining, but she's thinks I am taking away her freedom.

Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.

Any thoughts and suggestions are most welcome

jkhan

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Re: Difference in partners life style
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2021, 09:28:58 PM »
I've been brought up in Sunni Muslim family in India and we were thought music is haram. My mother and sistes always kept hijab. I got married to "modern Muslim" girl. She's all any man can ask for, talented , loving, caring, amazing cook, funny any man can ask for alhamdullilah.

However there a few things I can't accept, she's least even interested in islam, and she keeps dancing to music all day long, and dresses are not moderate for a muslim. I don't mind it sometimes, but my home doesn't seem like a muslim . I tried explaining, but she's thinks I am taking away her freedom.

Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.

Any thoughts and suggestions are most welcome

Peace brother...

Just don't irritate her... Just leave her in her way... All you have to do is just pleasantly ask her to read and understand Quran... Don't stress...

And live your life peacefully... Don't bother of her dancing and her life style... Muslim is not in tradition but Muslims is in surrendering to God... If you don't feel that your home is no more muslim.. It doesn't matter...
Her life she is responsible and your life you are responsible...  Each will have their guidance if God wills... So don't lose your wonderful wife...

If I am you,  I will live my own life and an ideal life for myself and to show her but in truth hoping she would learn something from me... Live your life according to Quran, so as long as the lives with you she may have a chance to ponder through your honesty, piousness and God belief... 

Pray for her guidance if you feel she is not guided... But don't judge her from what she does externally... Who knows her heart...  God judges our deeds.. So be together.. Take it easy...

tlihawa

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Re: Difference in partners life style
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2021, 09:43:31 PM »
Salaam,
I also experienced the same thing as you.
When I dated the woman who later became my wife today, I was a devout Sunni. My girlfriend at that time was not a devout person and did not follow the teachings of the Sunni religious leaders. She rarely prays and fasts and was not interested in religious matters. But she was a very generous person, likes to help others. From her, I learned a lot about kindness and generosity.

And then I got enlightenment. I found the true path of monotheism by abandoning the teachings of the Sunni priests. I just stick to the Quran and the books that Allah sent down before. And the hadiths are not one of them

With the guidance of the Qur'an I was able to find that what my girlfriend did before, was closer to the truth than what I did before.

If the Sunni priests say that music is haram, then I will ask back which verse in the Quran says that music is haram?

This conversion to straight path, discover the true Islam will open a very wide discussion space, who actually runs Islam or at least closer to the true Islam.

Right now my wife is the first person to strictly forbid me to bribe the police when I get a ticket, she will also be very angry if I rely on other human beings in the wrong way just to make my business easier. For me, that's Islam.

I don't know what you believe in now, but since you asked in this forum where most of the members are people who are looking for the true meaning of Islam, so I say welcome and congratulations on exploring the truth.

Peace

Sarah

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Re: Difference in partners life style
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2021, 09:49:13 PM »
Peace

Free-minds is a site based on following the Qur'an alone without hadith. The Qur'an does NOT forbid music or singing. It doesn't forbid dancing either and if it's just at home, that's totally allowed.

Also, there is no compulsion in religion. Some men try to control their wives. I am not saying you're like that but please don't become one of those men. Every human being has a right to live their life the way they choose to live it.

Maybe just appreciate her as a person? See all the good points and focus on those. Remember, there can be music and dancing in a Muslim household because it is not forbidden in the Qur'an.

'Say: “Who has forbidden the nice things that God has brought forth for His servants and the good provisions?” Say: “They are meant for those who believe during this worldly life, and they will be exclusive for them on the Day of Resurrection.” It is such that We explain the revelations for those who know.' [7:32]

'You shall not invent lies about God by attributing lies with your tongues, saying: "This is lawful and that is forbidden." Those who invent lies about God will not succeed.' [16:116]



'These are the verses of Allah which We recite to you in truth. Then in what statement (hadith) after Allah and His verses will they believe? (45:6)'

Wakas

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Re: Difference in partners life style
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2021, 04:08:01 AM »

Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.


What do you talk to her about? You may find this site useful:
https://misconceptions-about-islam.com/
All information in my posts is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should seek knowledge and verify: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11. My articles

www.studyQuran.org

SarahY

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Re: Difference in partners life style
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2021, 01:19:34 PM »
You knew this before you married her.

Maybe ask yourself, why does it bother you?

And what is a muslim home? and how can you contribute to making that idea happen.
We all have blind spots.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
ambiguity is there for a reason, why do you think?
We're all different, so how can we all be equal?