Author Topic: Is this possible  (Read 4978 times)

good logic

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2020, 06:18:58 AM »
Peace Sarah.
Some countries like the UK have a good justice system agaibst things like in your case. Do not let it go, they are the ones who should be frightened not you , quote:

"But even though I hold views on standing up to oppressors. I am scared of them. I'm in a bad financial situation. They have my address and everything. If I were to win against them in court I do not know what they will do to me next.".
However if you are seeking GOD s justice, the verses you mentioned are talking about justice in this life" stand up for your right".by taking them to court to get your hard earned money that they have stolen from you.
. GOD s justice will follow regardless.
GOD bless you.
Peace.
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Cerberus

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2020, 03:15:04 PM »
My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.


reel

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #12 on: June 26, 2020, 04:07:36 AM »
My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.

I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.
"I fear that nothing will lead me to hell more than ḥadīth"-Hadith collector: Shu'ba Ibn al-Ḥajjāj

good logic

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #13 on: June 26, 2020, 01:06:32 PM »
However sister Sarah, if you need our help (Remember it is GOD who helps really),please do not hesitate to say.
Either here or by PM.
If there is anything I can do to help you get on your feet and I can, I will GOD willing.
GOD bless you .
Peace.
TOTAL LOYALTY TO GOD ALONE.   IN GOD I TRUST

38:65″ Say:? I warn you; There is no other god beside GOD, the One, the Supreme.?

 http://www.total-loyalty-to-god-alone.co.uk/website-pages/good-logic/

Cerberus

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #14 on: June 26, 2020, 03:53:21 PM »
I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.

Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this: "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm"  or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

Sarah

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2020, 05:35:42 PM »
However sister Sarah, if you need our help (Remember it is GOD who helps really),please do not hesitate to say.
Either here or by PM.
If there is anything I can do to help you get on your feet and I can, I will GOD willing.
GOD bless you .
Peace.

Thank you Good Logic for the kindness. :)

God bless you too
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Sarah

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2020, 05:40:57 PM »
I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.

Thanks for having some empathy sister I appreciate it.

But although they managed to use me by getting me to work for them without pay, I never believed that I was horrible or bad for wanting to get paid because that's basically the reason for why I worked. One of the ladies in the office tried to make me feel guilty by staring at me in a certain way but it never got to me. It was just way too obvious they're the ones in the wrong. I think I have been gaslighted before in my life by other people but not this time.
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Sarah

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2020, 05:54:34 PM »
Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this: "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm"  or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

The thing is, if you got offered a job (not voluntary work) and you worked very hard and at the end of it all do not get paid, would you not feel like that's unjust? Don't tell me you're better than the rest of us and could just get over it in a day. I also bet you have felt wronged in your life before in other words, like a 'victim'. So there's no need to victim blame. I have the right to feel angered by what happened.

Just because animals may have it worse than me, doesn't mean that what I've been through hasn't been a struggle. We all have our own struggles and trials in life. Funnily enough this is what narcissists do. They undermine a person's suffering by always comparing it to someone else's. If I were an animal going through those struggles you've mentioned and I'd complain hypothetically speaking, I guess you could say well at least you didn't die in a fire. I'm not saying you're a narcissist but undermining my struggle is not a good to do.

I don't just feel anger at them because they wronged me, they also wronged other people who worked for them. Never paid them. I feel sad for them too. It's only human to feel angry at injustice. Do I want to get over my anger? Yes I do. It's a process. I want to get on with my life the best way possible.

And my case is worthy of bringing into court. Would you also tell all other people who went to court that they all have a victim mentality and should just forget and let the narcissists and the sociopaths out there carry on doing illegal activities?

It's easy to point the finger at someone and say you have a victim mindset when it's not you who's suffering and doesn't affect you personally.

Also victim mentality is 'the belief that one is always a victim : the idea that bad things will always happen to one.' Do I feel like a victim all the time? No. In fact sometimes I feel I've wronged people too because I'm imperfect. But I'm not proud of that and try to make things right.
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Cerberus

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2020, 01:23:42 AM »
The thing is, if you got offered a job (not voluntary work) and you worked very hard and at the end of it all do not get paid, would you not feel like that's unjust? Don't tell me you're better than the rest of us and could just get over it in a day. I also bet you have felt wronged in your life before in other words, like a 'victim'. So there's no need to victim blame. I have the right to feel angered by what happened.
If it is unjust it's unjust; Personally I might get frustrated at first, but I'll eventually try to see if there is anything I can do, e.g suing, and if I was willing to go that route, I'll do it, otherwise, I'll just drop it. Might leave a couple of bad reviews etc...and then move on.

Just because animals may have it worse than me, doesn't mean that what I've been through hasn't been a struggle. We all have our own struggles and trials in life. Funnily enough this is what narcissists do. They undermine a person's suffering by always comparing it to someone else's. If I were an animal going through those struggles you've mentioned and I'd complain hypothetically speaking, I guess you could say well at least you didn't die in a fire. I'm not saying you're a narcissist but undermining my struggle is not a good to do.
The point that I tried to make is that even animals aren't held back by their struggle, but in the contrary, they become stronger and more prepared.


And my case is worthy of bringing into court. Would you also tell all other people who went to court that they all have a victim mentality and should just forget and let the narcissists and the sociopaths out there carry on doing illegal activities?
Yes absolutely, if you can go to court do so...That's one of the things that you could do. Your question is absolutely nonsensical though, I've never said anything close to that....

It's easy to point the finger at someone and say you have a victim mindset when it's not you who's suffering and doesn't affect you personally.

I agree, but I never did that though..(show me otherwise).
SOMEHOW you feel attacked by what I wrote as a response to what reel said, basically what she said is : "this person was hurt, and then hurt more and I dont think the damage is easy to fix"....apparently that's what having sympathy is like ?????...But really I thought you needed more than sympathy so I wrote some advice that you could take for what it's worth or leave.

My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.





reel

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Re: Is this possible
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2020, 03:13:31 AM »
Thanks for having some empathy sister I appreciate it.

But although they managed to use me by getting me to work for them without pay, I never believed that I was horrible or bad for wanting to get paid because that's basically the reason for why I worked. One of the ladies in the office tried to make me feel guilty by staring at me in a certain way but it never got to me. It was just way too obvious they're the ones in the wrong. I think I have been gaslighted before in my life by other people but not this time.

Thanks for clarification. I thought you were a scapegoat from nfamily. But I must say narcs are a headache at work also. I want you to win against them. My prayer is with you. Fight them calmly so they don't do any drama of heading for suicide or having fake heart attack just to make it look like you were the one abusing them.


Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

That's the exact thing narcs use against their victims though. There is a joke about it also:
"Narcissist's Prayer: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it."



Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

You are describing survival of the fittest family system in which narcs are the parents. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy and immoral for humans: http://parenting.exposed/tag/survival-of-the-fittest-family-system/

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this: "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm"  or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

Such things don't apply to victims esp scapegoat children of narcs. What they go through is like emotional rape. Nature of narcs truly debunks the idea that movie villains are fictional characters. They live to be evil. Hard to believe. Children are an easy target. This sums up what is in store for them: https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects

"I fear that nothing will lead me to hell more than ḥadīth"-Hadith collector: Shu'ba Ibn al-Ḥajjāj