So where does one go from here?

[scaredmuslimah]

I have always known God existed.  Ever since I was a little girl, I just knew something greater than I was out there.  The first time I ever read the Bible was the book of Revelations and it scared the crap out of me.  It didn't make me fear God or anything like that...I just understood it as the end days being something frightening.

I have been to almost every aspect of Christianity:  Non-denominational (I call them the "do whatever I want because the blood of Jesus covers me" Christians), fire and brimstone (Pentecostals who pray 24 hours out of the day and forbid women to cut their hair) and moderate Christians (Protestant).  Nothing ever sat right with me about them, and then I found the J.W.'s.  They blew me away with their study of the Bible.  I enjoyed learning what the Bible said and turning away from false practices.  Then they told me hell was not eternal, that God wasn't so cruel that he would allow people to burn forever.  When I asked what would happen, they told me "You will just burn up and cease to exist."  Uhhh...the Bible says that the fire will never be put out and there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."  Then they told me that if I got married and then divorced, I could not remarry unless the reason I divorced was due to adultery.  Huh? 

Along came Islam that day, and I fought it tooth and nail at first.  Then it started to make sense:  God didn't need an intercessionary, didn't have a Son, and yes...hell exists.  I took to wearing hijab right away, as I understood modesty and appreciated it. Then the little nuances started popping up: 

-Don't eat with your left hand.  Shaitan eats with his left hand.
-Sleep on your right side.  Never on your stomach.
-No perfume...if a man smells you, you will have sin upon yourself

The worst was the hadith about how more women were in hell than men.  That one burned me up...and my husband used it effectively to constantly remind me that if I screwed up, I already had one strike against me.  So not only was I finding all kinds of inconsistencies in Islam, I was learning that my husband was one of "those" Muslim men.  Great.

As I read more about Islam, I began to see that the Qu'ran was not about exclusivity at all.  I also began to see how the three books tie into one another.  My husbands strict view of Islam began to wear away on me slowly...he even said I wasn't a Muslim. Just last night he called a friend up to prove me wrong because I told him that Muslims do indeed hold Prophet Muhammed at a higher esteem than other Prophets, even though the Qu'ran stated otherwise. 

That is how I ended up here.   

How do I start over?  Can someone share a story of how they dealt with life after discovering the truth?

[Indelwyn]

My husband and I can't talk religion anymore. He is sunni. not as strict but he gets mad and says I talk crap about the Prophet and I say well you idolize him. On going...lol He set up a meeting for me with the Imam, still waiting for that fun day. The meeting has been cancelled once already by the Imam, which tells me if he was really scared for my soul, it would have happened.

Sweety, it is a long process. My hubby actually does ask questions and he is looking into a list of ayah. I try to play dumb and ask deep questions I already know, just to make him feel like he is teaching me something. A few times he has agreed with me. I can thank this site alot on helping me in my journey.

I too was Christian. Catholic. Working for Cardinal Wuerl and Bishop Zubik. I was working on a degree while working there and came across Islam. Now I had the same things as you. All these hadith started to make me feel so sick and sad. I had no trust in the Prophethood of Muhammad and started to get nervous. It was how I ended up here. My issue was all the sex and wives my husband would have in heaven, while I was told I would be pretty and accept it. That Allah would change me and not the man. To me it was degrading and painful. I would actually sit and cry alot. It felt so wrong. I did not even want to go to Jannah. I would ask if I could sit just outside because I did not want hell...lol How silly!!

First thing you can do... Trust Allah. open your heart. Find support like the people here. Read your Quran. I use the articles here, I search and use the knowledge of others as a spring board.

Keep patience. We are here for you.. I am here for you. Fell free to PM if you ever need to vent or need someone to just listen.

Take care sis!

Christine

[kgwithnob]

...
How do I start over?  Can someone share a story of how they dealt with life after discovering the truth?

Dear sister, 
I suggest the link below as a good starting point.

http://www.masjidtucson.org/publications/books/understanding_islam/index.html

Peace,
Khalil

[Mazhar]

y husband and I can't talk religion anymore. He is sunni. not as strict but he gets mad and says I talk crap about the Prophet and I say well you idolize him.

Both on extremes---one idolizes--the other does not care about the difference between the Messenger and ordinary men and women.

He idolizes because he listens all sorts of gossips spread by hundreds of gossipers and conjecturalists. The day he reads the Ayah which calls Qur'aan as the Words articulated and conveyed by the Messenger, he might not need listen other fascinating stories of more women in hell like forgetting that in Paradize according to his own stories the number of women is four times then the men. A man can have four wives. So against one there are atleast four women in the Paradise. Therefore, their population in hell will be four times less than men.

And you forget that the Paradise is available only if one has reverence and respect for Muhammad sas.

Litmus Test: Take this test to know whether you are entitled for Paradise.

 

 

[justamuslim]

The worst was the hadith about how more women were in hell than men.  That one burned me up...and my husband used it effectively to constantly remind me that if I screwed up, I already had one strike against me.  So not only was I finding all kinds of inconsistencies in Islam, I was learning that my husband was one of "those" Muslim men.  Great.

How do I start over?  Can someone share a story of how they dealt with life after discovering the truth?

I would start with questioning if your husband is one of those controlling men.  please google search and read up on emotional abuse.  most people don't know the signs and what emotional abuse is.   if your husband is one of those guys or has difficult personalities or traits then you are dealing with a different problem here.  these guys are really good at using hadiths/quran to control and abuse woman (emotionally, physically and sexually).   
 

[good logic]

Peace scaredmuslimah.

Welcome. Nothing to be scared off here. Only your creator matters.

I have come across an ex JW- called" Becca" I think it is short for Rebecca? She writes on you tube " Whereistruth". Check her story that might help?

Anyway, it is not easy when those close to you have different beliefs. I hope you can keep seeking GOD Alone to help you.

Please browse : http://www.total-loyalty-to-god-alone.co.uk/website-pages/who-is-in-control/

Our thoughts/prayers are with you.
Peace.

[Magnus]

Peace, thread starter! I hope you will change your user name soon due to not being scared anymore.

It's great that you're here. The truth is mind blowing, life changing, this is so. Satan wants you to think it's scary. My own reaction to the truth has historically been to heed Satan and deny it, only less and less so as time goes by. I hope to one day be able to accept the truth fully, though I suspect this might have to wait until judgement day.
My own denying of truth has made me try to accept some ready-made doctrine or other (like you seem to have done), so I wouldn't have to for myself, nor would I have to trust in the guidance of the Lord.

Some posters in this thread would have you accept doctrine based on numerological infatuation. They give bad advice that you should ignore, in my opinion.
My advice to you is to stay clear of the doctrine of others. You obviously know how to find truth within yourself. Keep at it, and you will find more and more insights. These will be confirmed by the Qur'an. It's a gradual process, at least for me it is.
You should pray, and you should relax, because you are safe in the hands of the One who is Merciful beyond comprehension.
You should try to check all of your assumptions, often. You should try to let go, trust in your Creator, let Him show you what's true and false, let Him take care of you.
Then you follow the truth as best you can and ask forgiveness for your shortcomings. Pray for patience!

Best wishes, don't be scared, it's better than alright! God bless you!

[Ruuube]

Peace, thread starter! I hope you will change your user name soon due to not being scared anymore.

It's great that you're here. The truth is mind blowing, life changing, this is so. Satan wants you to think it's scary. My own reaction to the truth has historically been to heed Satan and deny it, only less and less so as time goes by. I hope to one day be able to accept the truth fully, though I suspect this might have to wait until judgement day.
My own denying of truth has made me try to accept some ready-made doctrine or other (like you seem to have done), so I wouldn't have to for myself, nor would I have to trust in the guidance of the Lord.

Some posters in this thread would have you accept doctrine based on numerological infatuation. They give bad advice that you should ignore, in my opinion.
My advice to you is to stay clear of the doctrine of others. You obviously know how to find truth within yourself. Keep at it, and you will find more and more insights. These will be confirmed by the Qur'an. It's a gradual process, at least for me it is.
You should pray, and you should relax, because you are safe in the hands of the One who is Merciful beyond comprehension.
You should try to check all of your assumptions, often. You should try to let go, trust in your Creator, let Him show you what's true and false, let Him take care of you.
Then you follow the truth as best you can and ask forgiveness for your shortcomings. Pray for patience!

Best wishes, don't be scared, it's better than alright! God bless you!

I cannot say it any better than this brother has said it.

Alhamdullilah you are being guided, peace and blessings be upon you sister.

[scaredmuslimah]

Thank you to everyone here.  I believe my hugest hurdle will be not following doctrine.  I was in the military for goodness sakes...I am so used to rules, rules, rules.   The funny thing is that doctrine is always the reason I end up leaving a denomination/religion at some point. 

I have read up on many subjects as far as God alone...the first was about Mr. Rashad Khalid.  I quickly left that website, simply because some of the things he mentioned reminded me too much of numerology.  I don't believe that God would have some mysterious revelation based on a number in the Quran...plus I am horrible at math, so I probably wouldn't figure it out anyway. 

From my journey (and it has been quite a journey, believe me) I have come to this conclusion:  The only thing we can do is serve God to the best of our ability, and if we are going to do it, do it because we honestly believe in a Creator.  Don't do it because your family did it, your society does it, or because you are afraid of some horrendous punishment if you don't.  I find those are the main reasons most people follow religion, not because they actually desire to know or worship God.  I can't imagine my life without God in it.

I do believe that my husband is abusive to a degree.   It seems to be a disease within the African American male converts in the United States.  They take Islam as some sort of gang in which Allah is the "Teflon Don" (may God forgive me for that analogy) and Muhammed the second in command.  They are so blinded by the power it seems to give them. If I disagree with my husband on any point, he calls up his gang and I am immediately admonished by two or three other men that have never met me, but believe I am disobedient and borderlining disbelief in Islam.  Guess I don't have the mental capacity to understand the religion on my own.  I am even further insulted by the fact that my husband didn't accept any form of religion until he was incarcerated, even though his father practiced Islam.  I, on the other hand, have been at it since the age of 17 or so.  My husband couldn't comprehend how I was familiar with the stories of Moses, Abraham, and Jesus when I hadn't even been a Muslim for more than a month.  When I told him those stories were in the Bible, he just scoffed. 

I want to thank all of you for your support and the links you have provided.  I will give all of them a view to see what I can learn. 

One more question:  The only Quran I have at home is the Yusuf Ali version...can anyone recommend a better English translation of the Quran for me to study?  I would appreciate it!


In peace,

Amina

[357]

I have always known God existed.  Ever since I was a little girl, I just knew something greater than I was out there.  The first time I ever read the Bible was the book of Revelations and it scared the crap out of me.  It didn't make me fear God or anything like that...I just understood it as the end days being something frightening.

I have been to almost every aspect of Christianity:  Non-denominational (I call them the "do whatever I want because the blood of Jesus covers me" Christians), fire and brimstone (Pentecostals who pray 24 hours out of the day and forbid women to cut their hair) and moderate Christians (Protestant).  Nothing ever sat right with me about them, and then I found the J.W.'s.  They blew me away with their study of the Bible.  I enjoyed learning what the Bible said and turning away from false practices.  Then they told me hell was not eternal, that God wasn't so cruel that he would allow people to burn forever.  When I asked what would happen, they told me "You will just burn up and cease to exist."  Uhhh...the Bible says that the fire will never be put out and there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."  Then they told me that if I got married and then divorced, I could not remarry unless the reason I divorced was due to adultery.  Huh? 

Along came Islam that day, and I fought it tooth and nail at first.  Then it started to make sense:  God didn't need an intercessionary, didn't have a Son, and yes...hell exists.  I took to wearing hijab right away, as I understood modesty and appreciated it. Then the little nuances started popping up: 

-Don't eat with your left hand.  Shaitan eats with his left hand.
-Sleep on your right side.  Never on your stomach.
-No perfume...if a man smells you, you will have sin upon yourself

The worst was the hadith about how more women were in hell than men.  That one burned me up...and my husband used it effectively to constantly remind me that if I screwed up, I already had one strike against me.  So not only was I finding all kinds of inconsistencies in Islam, I was learning that my husband was one of "those" Muslim men.  Great.

As I read more about Islam, I began to see that the Qu'ran was not about exclusivity at all.  I also began to see how the three books tie into one another.  My husbands strict view of Islam began to wear away on me slowly...he even said I wasn't a Muslim. Just last night he called a friend up to prove me wrong because I told him that Muslims do indeed hold Prophet Muhammed at a higher esteem than other Prophets, even though the Qu'ran stated otherwise. 

That is how I ended up here.   

How do I start over?  Can someone share a story of how they dealt with life after discovering the truth?

Its like trying to teach a monkey to be a human being- its not possible, unless Allah gives the monkey the intelect to use it like a human being - very rare , indeed.

Why on earth try and bring the monkey out of him, let him be a man with his low IQ. Why try and think he has the IQ of a Human Being. He has been worked on since child hood , and you think you can change him in a
day! come on.
Let him be what he is , and don't show him his Low IQ, Its embarasing for any person, and you will make your family get out of the rut and get a smile, and you will not be sinning  at all but getting rewarded for it.

Give him a Big Hug, and make him smile and you will feel the life again.