Quite confused and a little lost

[Eiliyah]

sensible,

i am not sure what is it that you want to start 'practicing' that will alienate and hurt your family? 

being a muslim doesn't mean leaving your family, alienating them, cutting off your relationship with people around you and going off joining an exclusive group.   being a muslim doesn't mean suddenly now you have to 'act' 'talk' 'dress'  different.  you can be a muslim anywhere, everywhere.  you can practice your islam sitting on the front row at church!
 

I agree justamuslim, we can be a muslim everywhere even on the front row at church!... I did that at the funeral of my father and a few months later my grandfather.... It was unthinkable to not going to the funeral of my close relatives and them being catholics, the funeral was in catholic churches with catholics rituals.
Sensible I don't know if you read the article here on free-mind: Submitters (Muslims) versus Believers (Mumins) but it can help you a lot in this matter. What also helps Sensible, is let go the idea that you follow another 'religion' !... Islam is in fact not a simply religion but a way to live your life in all the different aspects of life. Also helps to remember that God, is the same God in all the monotheïst religions: Jehwish/Christian/Islam.... that we do believe in all the messengers; including Jesus. But we don't worship them and don't make them gods along God....

  i follow Jesus as Jesus said, "if you love God, follow me."   he didn't say, "if you love God, worship me".   

I think many 'Islamophobes' are in fact 'Mohammadanophobes'.... True Islam (Qur'an Alone) is in fact the finishing touch, the correction explaining where True Judaism and True Christianity deviate. So infact Sensible your vision about being a Muslim is more important than the vision of your family.

[JewishDude]

I agree justamuslim, we can be a muslim everywhere even on the front row at church!... I did that at the funeral of my father and a few months later my grandfather.... It was unthinkable to not going to the funeral of my close relatives and them being catholics, the funeral was in catholic churches with catholics rituals.
Sensible I don't know if you read the article here on free-mind: Submitters (Muslims) versus Believers (Mumins) but it can help you a lot in this matter. What also helps Sensible, is let go the idea that you follow another 'religion' !... Islam is in fact not a simply religion but a way to live your life in all the different aspects of life. Also helps to remember that God, is the same God in all the monotheïst religions: Jehwish/Christian/Islam.... that we do believe in all the messengers; including Jesus. But we don't worship them and don't make them gods along God.... I think many 'Islamophobes' are in fact 'Mohammadanophobes'.... True Islam (Qur'an Alone) is in fact the finishing touch, the correction explaining where True Judaism and True Christianity deviate. So infact Sensible your vision about being a Muslim is more important than the vision of your family.

 

JewishDude
Salam, Shalom, Peace

[Sensible]

Good evening all,

First of all I would like to say thank you to you all for replying and providing me with positive words.

I think you guessed that I have some misconceptions of what Islam is, this is where I feel I need some support and guidance. MY understanding of Islam (the case of the I is unimportant to me) is about submitting to Allah and praising him for what I have been given in life and accepting that whatever happens Allah knows what is best for me. I see it as a way of life which promotes and encourages a good, honest and successful life. It doesn't ask for perfection, only the desire to be the best I can with the guidelines laid out before me.

I do have serious issues with my family, to the degree where it could cause long lasting damaged to my family relationships - As an example I have close family members who are so strong in their views that they would advocate violence against people who they think are from certain ethnic groupings - and as I write this I ask myself why am I worried about losing their approval or friendship? Their behaviour and attitudes are abhorrent to me! There you go. I do feel that there will be some change in behaviour required, but this is no longer an issue for me. Strange, having read your posts and considering the issues you raised things don't seem quite so complicated. I wasn't expecting this when I began writing this post. I did think there was more of an issue with my partner than it appears there needs to be.

I think I need to go away and think a little because, while I am still confused, I think my confusion may be based on other factors.

Genuinely, from my heart, I want to thank you all for your words. They have helped, this is the first step. I hope that I can continue to draw on the support of this forum and hopefully be in a position where I help a fellow traveller one day.

THANKS TO YOU ALL.

[mentallooser]

I know how you feel about the family.  I've mentioned my belief in the system of God-Alone and it hasn't gone well, where I didn't receive distaste, I was graced with denial that I was being rebelious and attention seeking.  Just believe on your own, and allow God to attend to the rest.  You cannot control the hearts of others, so let them believe what they will and you what you will.  Blessings to you my friend, it is a long journey to find the answers you already have, and a life-long journey to find the rest which you seek. 

[TheNabi]

Peace

What do I need to learn first?

I do not think you need to accept the quran to believe in God. I think of it as an advanced manual for those seeking progression, perhaps to be those foremost to God [56/10-26].

Joe

[Sensible]

As-salaamu alaykum

Well, just an update on my story, nothing spectacular but important things for me. I have been doing lots of watching, reading and asking and I think things are getting a little clearer for me. I have arranged to meet a local imam, from my old university faith centre. He has alreay sent me lots of information, all very good things, perhaps a little more "traditional" (culturally) than where I am looking to go, but all very good information. 

I had this sudden urge to "be Muslim" without really knowing what it was I wanted to be. I wanted to rush in and make a statement, probably to myself. I have realised that I need to slow down, take my time and do this properly. I still have some major concerns regarding my family, not enough to stop me following this path, but enough to concern me. None the less, I have started doing little things, the first time I prayed I felt quite liberated and completely humbled. I'm not praying as regularly as I would like, but I feel that having made the first step is important.

Anyway, as time goes by and I understand myself, my hopes and my God a little better I feel less lost and more comfortable with how my journey is going. I don't feel the need to rush in to things to prove myself. My partner is becoming more aware of the changes I am making and has been accepting, though I still fear broaching the issue head on, though again, I feel this will be something that will come naturally as I gain knowledge, understanding and confidence.

I'm happier about this and just want to thank all those who helped me on here, your words were taken on board and did genuinely help.

Paul.