Quite confused and a little lost

[Sensible]

Good evening everyone,

I have a little tale to tell which may sound confused, that is because I am. I am looking for some guidance and some words of support.

I guess I should give a little history that lets you know why I am here and considering reverting to Islam.

I was born in Northern England, Protestant by ritual not by practice. I grew up with a family of very strong Women who all had faith, as spiritualists. The idea of God and Jesus was a constant and I cherished a childrens Bible I was bought as a child. THe strange thing is that through my, sometimes, very tough life I have always had a strong belief in God, not so for Jesus as his son. When times got very tough it was God I prayed to and never really included Jesus as the person I asked for help. God was the one who was there for me. Not confusing so far.

Fast forward and a relationship with a Catholic woman, three offspring - all with troubles, a divorce and a new relationship with a woman I love. Through work I meet a muslim woman (hold on, this isn't what you might think). I work closely with this woman and we chat about our philosophies on life and religion. I re-realise that I have always had faith in God - but God alone and I find that Islam kind of fits with many of my values, there are some which I'm not sure about and these I am prepared to work on because at the root I have faith that there is only one God and he has no partners. Still not confusing!?!

Now, my family, here goes - my parents practie no religion but can be quite scathing about minorities. I have several family members who are, well to be blunt, racist and Islamophobes. They are affiliated with groups which make me feel ashamed to be white and English. My three children I think would be ok. My partner, common law, is my biggest confusion. She claims to be spiritual as opposed to religious, but I see little evidence of this, but I love her. We are, though, more like friends than lovers. Making this step could involve a massive change in my life, on every level. How do I deal with family? How do I begin to explain what I am considering? How do I really beging to consider what to do next when I really don't understand who to turn to to discover the basics of beginning to practice not only the faith Islam but the life Islam provides.

I see a better life but don't want to hurt those around me. I worry that when I begin to practice I will alienate myself and find the change too much to keep up and am left with nothing. Yet I have this faith in God which I need to make conceret. I read peoples stories and wish I was at that point where it had all happened I was in a life I want. Where do I begin? Who do I speak to? What do I need to learn first? How do I stop what appears to be my double life developing and destroying me? Confued enough? I'm looking for answers I don't think people have. This is my story, this is my, unfinished, journey. Any wise words would be more than welcome right now.

Just me.

[Wakas]

peace,

Welcome to the forum and posting your question.

You seem to have a misconception as to what "Islam" is. I strongly recommend this:
http://www.misconceptions-about-islam.com/more.htm

Once the above is understood, that islam is a mindset, a state of being, then if you wish to incline towards God and/or the message of The Quran, then the first thing you should do is align yourself with the scale God rates people with:

O mankind, We created you from a male and female, and We made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Surely, the most honorable among you in the sight of God is the most righteous/God-conscious. God is Knowledgeable, Expert. [49:13]


Walk on this path, take your time, seek knowledge, try to be just, ponder, try to be righteous, have patience, reflect.... but keep walking. That is the key.


We are all on this journey, so if you have any questions or thoughts, feel free to post them. I know I do!

[shadowpuppet]

Where do I begin?

Honestly, I'd start with the earth and the sky.
Your own conscience.

Any true path works in harmony with that and, if any book goes contrary to it,
then the book is either false or it is being interpreted wrongly.

A key thing to remember about this continuous East/West clash ....is that, under Quranic law,
usury is illegal. But most people won't dig far enough to even know what usury is or why it's wrong.

Christianity would be fine, if it weren't edited towards the bias of the people who actually sought to subdue it.
For the most part, that is what Islam is... that very remnant.

[captainneckbeard]

Good evening everyone,

I have a little tale to tell which may sound confused, that is because I am. I am looking for some guidance and some words of support.

I guess I should give a little history that lets you know why I am here and considering reverting to Islam.

I was born in Northern England, Protestant by ritual not by practice. I grew up with a family of very strong Women who all had faith, as spiritualists. The idea of God and Jesus was a constant and I cherished a childrens Bible I was bought as a child. THe strange thing is that through my, sometimes, very tough life I have always had a strong belief in God, not so for Jesus as his son. When times got very tough it was God I prayed to and never really included Jesus as the person I asked for help. God was the one who was there for me. Not confusing so far.

Fast forward and a relationship with a Catholic woman, three offspring - all with troubles, a divorce and a new relationship with a woman I love. Through work I meet a muslim woman (hold on, this isn't what you might think). I work closely with this woman and we chat about our philosophies on life and religion. I re-realise that I have always had faith in God - but God alone and I find that Islam kind of fits with many of my values, there are some which I'm not sure about and these I am prepared to work on because at the root I have faith that there is only one God and he has no partners. Still not confusing!?!

Now, my family, here goes - my parents practie no religion but can be quite scathing about minorities. I have several family members who are, well to be blunt, racist and Islamophobes. They are affiliated with groups which make me feel ashamed to be white and English. My three children I think would be ok. My partner, common law, is my biggest confusion. She claims to be spiritual as opposed to religious, but I see little evidence of this, but I love her. We are, though, more like friends than lovers. Making this step could involve a massive change in my life, on every level. How do I deal with family? How do I begin to explain what I am considering? How do I really beging to consider what to do next when I really don't understand who to turn to to discover the basics of beginning to practice not only the faith Islam but the life Islam provides.

I see a better life but don't want to hurt those around me. I worry that when I begin to practice I will alienate myself and find the change too much to keep up and am left with nothing. Yet I have this faith in God which I need to make conceret. I read peoples stories and wish I was at that point where it had all happened I was in a life I want. Where do I begin? Who do I speak to? What do I need to learn first? How do I stop what appears to be my double life developing and destroying me? Confued enough? I'm looking for answers I don't think people have. This is my story, this is my, unfinished, journey. Any wise words would be more than welcome right now.

Just me.

Welcome sensible!

I know exactly how you feel, as I still haven't revealed my spiritual beliefs to my family. My best advice would be slow down! Islam ultimately means to believe that there is one God only, and that nothing deserves to be worshiped except God. Do this and you are at the perfect starting place. No one here is perfect, but most are sincere and will always be honest, even if it hurts...

Also, the articles on the home page of this website are good, but nothing will ever replace the actual reading of the quran yourself. Read it and think about it and read it again. This is the only way to find direction. This might seem daunting, or may sound like a generic piece of advice, but the quran should guide our lives.

Please if you have any specific questions, post them and, god willing, you will quickly have replies and clarification.

[JewishDude]

Welcome Sensible!

A few thoughts that might help...

After seeing many people convert to different religions and mainly observing converts to Judaism, know that conversion really is a journey by itself.  While you may say a Shahada that is not the conversion.  That is the intention to start the journey of conversion into a state of islam. 

Know that converts are very worried that they are not "doing it right".  Don't worry about doing it right.  Worry about changing the way you think about the world first.  Then make sure your practice follows what you understand the state islam to be.  This will require study of the Quran and I would recommend looking at a variety of translations as you are probably not fluent in Arabic.

As for dealing with your family....   Be very very communicative with them.  Let them know you are on a spiritual journey and that you are exploring.  Ask their advice and listen to it.  Tell them regularly what you have learned and how it is challenging with you.  Let them see your spiritual journey and watch your faith grow.  They won't like it if you come home and say "Hey guess what?  I converted to Islam today!"  They will be hurt that you didn't share this with them.  This will take some effort on your part to go slowly and share this with them.  You may be surprised how many of them feel the same way as you.  You also won't alienate them by excluding them from a very personal journey.  Give them time to adjust to your steps.  This can be a great time to grow closer together even if you find that you don't agree on everything.  The two biggest mistakes you can make is to move quickly and argue that they are wrong and you are right.  When you have discussions with them listen to and respect their opinions.  Don't force your ideas on them let them learn to appreciate where you are coming from on the issue.

Remember all of us are on a journey.  Some of us are unaware that we are on a journey.  Some are sailing smoothly on their journey and don't like the boat rocked.

These are just some thoughts.  Hope you find your place.

JewishDude
Salam, Shalom, Peace

[Eiliyah]

Welcome !

Welcome Sensible!

As for dealing with your family....   Be very very communicative with them.  Let them know you are on a spiritual journey and that you are exploring.  Ask their advice and listen to it.  Tell them regularly what you have learned and how it is challenging with you.  Let them see your spiritual journey and watch your faith grow.  They won't like it if you come home and say "Hey guess what?  I converted to Islam today!"  They will be hurt that you didn't share this with them.  This will take some effort on your part to go slowly and share this with them.  You may be surprised how many of them feel the same way as you.  You also won't alienate them by excluding them from a very personal journey.  Give them time to adjust to your steps.  This can be a great time to grow closer together even if you find that you don't agree on everything.  The two biggest mistakes you can make is to move quickly and argue that they are wrong and you are right.  When you have discussions with them listen to and respect their opinions.  Don't force your ideas on them let them learn to appreciate where you are coming from on the issue.
JewishDude
Salam, Shalom, Peace

My family did not convert... in the beginning my husband was quite angry I choose to be a 'muslim'... now, I explain him how I see it, tell him about the misconceptions, the view of most free-minders here.... and since we have a good communication and he accepts it.

[JewishDude]

So Eiliyah you agree that communication is the most important thing. 

Welcome !
My family did not convert... in the beginning my husband was quite angry I choose to be a 'muslim'... now, I explain him how I see it, tell him about the misconceptions, the view of most free-minders here.... and since we have a good communication and he accepts it.

Keeping them "in the loop" will really help.  I am not saying they won't get angry but they will be able to respect your journey and ultimately accept it.

Sensible:  Hang in there and it will work out for the best.

JewishDude
Salam, Shalom, Peace

[mmkhan]

Salaam Sensible,

 


2:186    وإذا سألك عبادي عني فإني قريب أجيب دعوة الداع إذا دعان فليستجيبوا لي وليؤمنوا بي لعلهم يرشدون

2:186    And if My servants ask you about Me, I am near answering the calls of those who call to Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be guided.


7:55    ادعوا ربكم تضرعا وخفية إنه لا يحب المعتدين

7:55    Call on your Lord in humility and in secret. He does not like the aggressors.


40:14    فادعوا الله مخلصين له الدين ولو كره الكفرون

40:14    Therefore, call on Allah while being pure to His system, even if the rejecters hate it.


And remember brother


17:9    إن هذا القرءان يهدي للتي هي أقوم ويبشر المؤمنين الذين يعملون الصلحت أن لهم أجرا كبيرا

17:9    This AlQuraan guides to that which is straight, and it gives glad tidings to the believers who do good works that they will have a bountiful reward.


I suggest you to study AlQuraan, then study again, then study, then study and always seek Allah's help for each and everything either a small or big. Remember, He is the all Listener and all Knower.

InshaAllah [if Allah wills] surely He will guide you to what is good for you, so no need to worry and be patient.


May Allah make things easy for you and make your Eimaan strong about your Creator and His message and guide us all towards the truth 

Mohammed M. Khan

[Rana]

  sensible. I feel for you, I really do. There is no easy way through these situations. Relationships are important but God is important too. In my experience God is hard to ignore. I hope you find your way. 

[justamuslim]

sensible,

i am not sure what is it that you want to start 'practicing' that will alienate and hurt your family? 

being a muslim doesn't mean leaving your family, alienating them, cutting off your relationship with people around you and going off joining an exclusive group.   being a muslim doesn't mean suddenly now you have to 'act' 'talk' 'dress'  different.  you can be a muslim anywhere, everywhere.  you can practice your islam sitting on the front row at church!
 
i now live in a place where everyone around me is white christian.  some are racists, islamophobes - which are borne out of ignorance and fear.  at first, sure i was concerned but by just taking Gods guidance, am quite amazed how people have welcomed me into their homes, lives.  we are all human beings, sometimes we forget that.   being a muslim is basically wanting and striving to be a good person.   you don't have to agree with your family/friends but one thing i have learned along the way is respect and caring are important for living a peaceful life.  and islam stands for peace.

 by the way, i call out on people asking them 'what would jesus say or do?' and how they are not really following Jesus by being racists.  and by the way jesus was not a white blond.  he was gasp from middle east!   as a matter fact, i am far more a christian than those who call themselves christians.   i follow Jesus as Jesus said, "if you love God, follow me."   he didn't say, "if you love God, worship me".   and yes, i do 'celebrate christmas' - giving  is very much Islamic.  i just don't partake in the worshiping of son of Mary.   

if feeling lost, confused - i would like others refer you to the quran.  welcome aboard!