No problem, we can welcome you here too
And hope to see your contribution and love to know your story to the path of Allah alone.
May Allah guide us all towards the truth
Mohammed M. Khan
Try to make it a short one
(And sorry for bad English from now till end of the post)
Iím not sure myself at which point (when) Iím considered as a god-alone-er
Well itís around Jun/July 2010 I went to Singapore with my friend to attend the asian-forex-exhibition
And that would be the start of my turning point.
On the way back of the trip, we had a small discussion/debate about religion specifically about hadith genuineness
I didn't know she is a truth-seeker and we had an armatureís (non-scholar) debate since Iím just a normal Malaysian Sunni
Consider myself not super (obsess & Iím always right kind of person) the debate ends as we both heading back home.
However I still had the debate in my mind, at home, shared with my wife on what I experienced that day and we put a small thoughts and questionings
(But of course at this point still thinking about how come my truth-seeker friend could not see how I (Sunni) see it)
I donít quite remember the details of the event. Itís just that the debate lingers in my mind for few days before it cooled off.
What bothers me is the fact that stoning contradict with lashes is so obvious for one to see. (I didnít notice too)
Also wondering how prophet performed solat when heís alive? (When reciting syahadah during solat was brought up during debate)
Perhaps I donít bother much (about punishment in Islam) since I donít deal with that subject throughout my everyday life
But I guess solat is very common, itís in the 5 pillars. How could it be wrong?
Well, Iím back to normal life then but Iím restless thinking about can I do this? Is it wrong to give a thought on stuff like this?
What if this is a cult then? Am I going to hell? (At that moment Iím thinking of those that got busted doing a cult, Malaysia always has cult movement going on)
What if this is the answer to my prayers? What if this is the truth/guidance but I ignore it? Will I get a second chance later or Iím finished?
So I continue to pray for a straight path and guidance after solat (since Iíve been taught not to recite other stuff during solat)
And of course in my native tongue, since Iím against the idea of memorizing
Arabic-doía and reciting doía with others. Why should I recite doía with others when my needs/requests might differ from theirs? And why in a language that one doesnít understand? Shouldnít we mean (feel) it rather than just recite for the sake of reciting it?
Anyway, what motivated me to look up on Quran was heaven and hell.
Why heaven and hell? I think maybe due to our final destination is the ultimate answer thus I will need to start from where I plan to end forever. :p
Iíve always one sided (sunni is the righteous one) when it comes to religion but that time (after the debate) I become more open and accepting.
I found thread from Indonesian forum talking about heaven and hell (difficult to read though). I found a post totally different from what Iíve been taught in school
Stated that once heaven/hell, then forever there instead of ďMuslim will eventually end up in heaven after punishment is done and kafirs will be forever in hellĒ
(Now I think the answer for this is: Whether heaven or hell, itís a Godís will. So basically no one can (have the right to) tell)
After sometimes, I look up the internet and discovers local site named Bacaan, a God & Quran alone site.
While at the same time my truth-seeker friend provides the free-minds link.
I donít really use FM at that time (even now)
no offense itís just Iím not actively posting stuffs since I prefer talk/chat in person.
So itís the end since I want to make it short.
Bottom line, thank God, thanks to my friend, and to myself for being open for the debate and to give a thought rather than run away from thinking. I couldn't picture how restless I was at that moment. But that leads to this path.
But I would love to add few lines:
Since the debate until now, Iíve been reading articles and threads about solat & stuffs and it sometimes bothers me.
But I forgot that I should back to Quran, study and seek for guidance from God. Not to simply/blindly
accept others, (this will be no different from blindly following scholars) and my worries reduced.
Perhaps I should start to draw my own way of life to live a Muslimís way of life
And hope I'll be guided by Allah