I really can't believe how materialistic and callous a Sunni imam was to my fiance. I mean I knew that they value mindless traditions over actually thinking, but this one really set me aback in his staggering display of flat-out heartlessness, douche-baggery, player-haterism, and with a side of cock-block. Not to mention what he said goes entirely against the anti-materialist viewpoint that is taught throughout the entire Quran.
As I posted previously, my fiance and I are planning to get married in a few weeks. She started to make arrangements so that it will be set up when I get there. We are both Quranists, not sectarians (unless you want to call that a sect... I call it Islam). There isn't a mosque in her town, but there is in the next one over. It's a Sunni mosque comprised of mostly Pakistani members. Anyway, my fiance went there to schedule the imam for our marriage.
Everything went fine until the imam started asking about me. He asked about if I had bought a house for us, or something along those lines. She told him that she is temporarily giving up those rights because I can't provide a home for her right now. The imam suggested that she would be better off marrying one of the Pakistani men he knows, because they would be able to provide her a nice house. She says she doesn't need that now, she can take care of herself... Then the imam asked why she wants to marry me. And she told him cause she loves me.... Then the imam said that this is haram, that "love can't exist before marriage in Islam".
He said she needs to not listen to her heart. Then he said that it is haram for us to even be talking to each other without a mahram present, to listen to everything we say. THEN he said that because she does not have a family member that is Muslim to give her away, that he will assign her a mahram from the mosque. He said that before he will marry us, that I would have to meet with this random Paki from their mosque, and he can decide if we can marry or not!!!! And of course they don't want us to marry, because they want her to marry some Paki! They have already offered to get her married to them many times, and she keeps refusing. I can't even believe that when she comes to them to ask for a marriage, they would STILL try to marry her off to some richer guy who she doesn't even know!
I can't believe that the imam would tell her to not listen to her heart, and instead marry the richest guy she can find. What the hell is wrong with him? Could you imagine going to a Pastor, to try to set up a marriage, and then he says "Ohhhh he doesnt have money??? I know a much better guy for you to marry, he's rich... And you shouldn't listen to your heart, that's a sin. And BTW, I won't even marry you unless my friend decides that he likes the husband, but really we all want you to marry one of our friends instead".
I really can't believe the audacity and heartlessness of some people. Money is everything. Love is a sin. Soul mates are a lie. That's what this imam would want us to believe. Furthermore it's truly SICK that they think a woman cannot think for herself, and must have a man do all the thinking and decisions for her, even if it's a total stranger.
InshaAllah, when we do get married, it sure as hell won't be at that mosque. I don't care how far we have to drive to find a better one. May Allah forgive us if it's a sin, but we both resolved that after we are married, we will make a point to stop by the Paki mosque to pray, just to show them they can't stop love. Well, it will be good to pray there too