How did you find your God alone partner?

[Stitch]

Salaam all,

This is a post to all you married "God alone/Quran alone" members. I think it would be interesting for the rest of the "Matrimonial" section on this forum to listen to your story of finding a suitable partner.

The lack of an established "God alone/Quran alone" community can make it difficult for those who believe in "God alone/Quran alone" to progress into marriage, and I believe that any encouraging stories here will be beneficial to this section of the forum.

Peace to all,

Stitch

[Wakas]

A few of us are in the process of creating a site for this very purpose:

helping those who connect with 'al quran' connect with others: for friendship or marriage


We are in the process of developing it and we will post the site here once we have tested it out etc.

[NoProgressive]

As Salaam Alaikum Wakas,


That's awesome! I can't wait until I sign up, but that wont be for years from now. Well I could do the friendhship thing! Yay!!


Stich,
Aww, I haven't found my God-Alone partner yet. I can't wait until I do. I often wonder where he is and what he is doing right now, this very moment.

Is he arguing with someone? Is he in college? Is he in high school? Is he in middle school (lol, imagine me marrying someone younger than me, lol)? Is he in the army? Is he in another country? What if he is LEARNING English at this very moment? What if he's in the desert of Africa? Or on the beach in California?


What if he's actually GETTING married to someone else this second only to get a divorce in the future?

What if he's not even born yet! lol now that would be a kicker, marrying someone 17 years younger than me. loll lol lol. Imagine that.

Where is he? What is he doing?!!!! lol

salaam

[Leena]

Salam,

I'm married to a man who, like me, strives to follow Quran/God alone.  When we met and married, we were both "mainstream" Muslims, but I had certain differing opinions about Sunnism, on which he agreed with me.  We both progressed to this point, after talking to each other and studying a lot, we found out that this is more correct and we had no problems.

My suggestion would be just talk to as many suitable/marriageable people as you can and bounce your beliefs/ideas off of them.  If they freak out, then get away from them; if they're interested or agree with you, then go ahead with it.  Some "mainstreamists" actually have a few grains of sense and the ability to find out for themselves what is true.  Take a chance, rather than just waiting for someone to drop into your life from the sky.

[Stitch]

Peace Sister Leena and thank you for your response. 

My suggestion would be just talk to as many suitable/marriageable people as you can and bounce your beliefs/ideas off of them.

This normally ends up in being treated like a heretic. 

If they freak out, then get away from them; if they're interested or agree with you, then go ahead with it. 

Yeah, they normally freak out. 

Take a chance, rather than just waiting for someone to drop into your life from the sky.

That is definitely good advice, but the "God alone/Quran alone" community seems to only exist in the virtual world of the internet. Meeting other "God alone/Quran alone" members in the real world is much more difficult.

However, I am glad that you and your husband found each other and agree on each other's faith. 
May I ask, how did this affect your extended family and friends?

Peace,

Stitch

[NoProgressive]

As SAlaam Alaikum Stitch,

How about going to an Islamic matrimonial site? That way you can be upfront about your beliefs in your profile. I'm sure that some guys would probably be like "What the heck?" and others would be like "Woohoo! She believes like me!"

Give it a try.

salaam

[Leena]

Salam,

Stitch:  Well the Muslims who are on the net are "real world" Muslims, somewhere.  Even if you see a large group of people who all seem to be following the same thing, you may find others in it who think like you.  In the past, I would not have been identified as anything other than a mainstream Muslim, since I never said/did anything to make anyone think otherwise.  But I had talked to a large number of people before I found any with similar thoughts.  That's the effort you have to make, I think.  Until you get that site started up, I suppose.

Also, my family and my husband's family are fine with our beliefs.  They do not see us as weird or heretical.  My husband's grandfather was among the starting members of Tolu-e-Islam in Pakistan, so that helps.

I also agree with NoProgressive..  There are sooo many different kinds of beliefs out there, and lots of them desperate to meet like-minded people but don't know where to find them.  They know they identify themselves as "Muslim" so they are likely to post matrimonial ads on "Muslim" sites.  Stating your beliefs openly in a profile is a good way to find out who is friendly to it and who is not.

[Someone]

Peace be upon you,

Maybe one should widen his\her view when looking for a partner, and not just limit oneself to the "mainstream Mulsims". In fact, peaceable persons (muslimeene in Arabic languages) do exit in every "mainstream Religion", people who won't freak out concerning your beliefs and would not try to harm you. If they are trustworthy, I see no problem in taking them as patners.

-- 

[Stitch]

Salaam Sister Leena and NoProgressive,

Thank you for your responses.

I think my avatar is somewhat too effeminate and this has led to a few forum members assuming that I am a Sister! LOL, nope! I am a Brother!

I don't "believe" in matrimonial sites or contrived dating programmes as such, it takes away from the magic of how we are naturally meant to operate. I just posted here to listen to stories like Sister Leena's, so that I and many others can find out about the experiences of other "God alone/Quran alone" Muslims and their success in marriage.

Also, the mainstream Muslims appear to mostly be cultural in their attitudes to marriage. They're dying to "get their rocks off" and want to marry almost anyone and then leave the success of the marriage down to God. I have seen this trait as quite common amongst Pakistanis, marriage it seems is more to do with living up to what everyone else wants you to do and being a sheep. I've met too many that want to please "Mummy and Daddy" and live up to the cultural aspects of what Islam has become, and they have NEVER read the Quran in a language they understand.

I believe that marriage is both a virtue and article of this life, and must be built on the strong foundations of true faith in God. In fact everything we have in this life should rest firmly on the strong foundations of true faith in God, for if that foundation is weak, the articles of this life may crumble upon us and crush us. Just look at Michael Jackson. 

Peace,

Stitch

[Stitch]

Peace be upon you,

Maybe one should widen his\her view when looking for a partner, and not just limit oneself to the "mainstream Mulsims". In fact, peaceable persons (muslimeene in Arabic languages) do exit in every "mainstream Religion", people who won't freak out concerning your beliefs and would not try to harm you. If they are trustworthy, I see no problem in taking them as patners.

-- 

Salaam Someone,

I completely agree with you; however I feel that the foundation of believing in the Quran is a good place to start and perhaps guarantee the ideals of chastity and wanting to raise a God-fearing family. The mainstream followers of any religion have their set ways of meeting someone of the opposite sex, which then gets approval from their community and then everyone is a happy bunny. But for those of us who are "God alone/Quran alone" it has become more difficult.
Saying that, it may be a blessing in disguise and be a 'filter' to meet someone who truly believes in God and does not follow what everyone else does for the sake of looking good to others.

Peace,

Stitch