Messages

1

Marriage & Divorce / Re: How can I ask my date about her beliefs?

« on: February 24, 2012, 04:14:05 PM »

Salam all of you and thank you for your replies!

Ofcoarse, you can just ask her directly too... but that may make thinks weird if she is not very spiritual.

Maaaaan! Be more subtle. [...] This is a date. Not an interview. Just ask her what are the important things in her life and she what she says.  Asking her about her religious beliefs staright up ain't cool.

Yes, I guess you are right. I couldn't find a way to ask her at our last date, since I felt it might be a little inappropriate.

Or talk about some trial and tribulation you or somebody you know of or read about went through and see what she says.

I don't know if talking about negativ stuff like that might help me... do you really think I should do that?

You are not allowed to marry someone who believes in polytheism or someone who does not believe in your right to believe in God (kaffir). If you cross reference in the Quran you will find that a kaffir is not someone who simply rejects God, it is someone who imposes this rejection on others. If she rejects God it is God who will be the judge, you as a believer has nothing to do with that as long as she is not trying to make you reject God.

I am not saying right or wrong here, not trying to promote that you should marry an unbeliever. I would only take another look at what the Quran says before you turn away from your potential love of your life.

Very interesting point of view, my friend. But I am not sure that a person must encompass all characteristics attributed to the rejecters to be one of them. Isn't it enough if a person shares one of the characteristics such as: "5:44 [...] And whoever does not judge with what God has sent down, then these are the rejecters."? Maybe you can clarify your point, so that perhaps I become convinced.

As for Howards case I suspect he was not referring to a kaffir but to someone who simply does not believe in God.

Yes, I refer to someone who does not believe in God's existence or believes in something that goes against the Quranic view of God, e.g. "Jesus is God", "I believe in some superior power, but this needn't to be God" etc.

I liked Alas and mirjamnurs stories. This would be the ideal way my dates proceed.

2

Marriage & Divorce / Re: How can I ask my date about her beliefs?

« on: February 22, 2012, 05:22:55 PM »

Salam,

thank you for your advice, sister. I'll try to do it this way, somehow talk about my belief, then ask her: what about you?

Peace.

3

Marriage & Divorce / How can I ask my date about her beliefs?

« on: February 21, 2012, 07:52:58 PM »

Salam!

These days I am dating a kind and attractive woman. We have been talking about different topics and I think we fit together well... but before making the next step, I would like to find out what she thinks about God. It is important for me that she does not reject God, otherwise a relationship would be impossible according to my understanding of the Quran. So how can I lead the conversation into a direction that she reveals her beliefs? You probably know that belief/ religion is not the usual topic on dates... So do you have any tips how I can do it? I'd be grateful for any answer.

Peace be upon you!
Howard